Recent Comments

Gortontosh
6/26/24, 1:12 AM
Murr~ ♥️
6/25/24, 11:36 PM
Really well written Sir

6/26/24, 12:55 AM
@[FaggyBaby](/user/show/525906) Thanks, boy ;)
6/26/24, 12:25 AM
Loving this!
6/25/24, 11:06 PM
Gotta say, this 'part' didn't go as I thought it would. And I'm not saying that as a bad thing. Exploring the inner psyche and situation of our former hero was different then the usual pace of this series. And his 'relapse' was well done. It seemed so natural and casual for it to happen. Hank keeps showing he's got skills. It was how things ended at the base that was unexpected. I thought it would be more similar to the previous chapter. Yet having Nick taken and separated. And he ending up being trained into that rubber pup Hank wants him to be. And Rodriguez either being captured by Travis for something or even becoming the next Mister Freedom with Nick gone. Having Nick punch through the floor to escape was surprising. So hearing that there is a second half to this is exciting. The final say on how everyone ends up!

6/26/24, 12:24 AM
@[Marik29](/user/show/10021139) I thought about making the base battle turn sour, but this had to be Henry's time to shine,... or, at least, to have some faith in himself. His experience and skill, rather than his super-powers, proved to be the game-changer this time around! Oh, and since you mentioned the 'punching through the floor' bit, that's also how Rodriquez and he had planned to escape the same trap in the bad ending,... only Henry wasn't there to disable the traps put in place to prevent it! This _was_ also supposed to be a quick and clean little ending where the boys win, go on a romantic break and,... well,... then Carl had to go and prove how much like his son he is! He turned into a real attention whore and stole a whole chunk of space! So, thanks to him, we now have one last little bit to go,... even Travis' little postlude got pushed back into part 2! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I hope you like what's still to come in the finale,..
6/25/24, 11:20 PM
i love this story...want to experience what the former Danny is experiencing
thesaxcat
6/25/24, 6:01 PM
Wow. That happened. lol.

6/25/24, 9:50 PM
@[thesaxcat](/user/show/10005285) Yes. That happened. lol.
6/25/24, 9:39 PM
This is what I'd want mire than anything, absolutely sexy
6/25/24, 9:36 PM
Eager to see the second part now.
6/25/24, 9:01 PM
Freaking hot story man !

6/25/24, 9:05 PM
@[six_dead106](/user/show/908628) thanks, got inspired after having had some chats with friends and decided today to write it after work
6/25/24, 7:03 PM
The story felt a bit rushed, but for a contest that's understandable. The idea is cool, but the tone was a bit odd. Rocco and Charles felt like they were two different people at different times. I think a thousand more words over the whole story might have helped. Wonder what was your inspiration

HypnoFreak
6/25/24, 8:45 PM
@[BobbyBlobfish](/user/show/700733) Thank you for the feedback. I actually was thinking on writing two more chapters but figured out to just let it end here for now and continue in a new series maybe. And yes, I also did notice the slight weirdness in the characters of Charles and Rocco and while some of it was intended as a catch on for next chapters, some of it was really not intended. Maybe using POV would have solved the problem and I will definitely explore it if I do continue.