Recent Comments

6/23/24, 2:52 PM
Very nice set up. Thought he was hypnotised to turn into an animal in the woods :D

6/24/24, 10:22 PM
@[MindlessDog](/user/show/10009228) Hey, Mindless Dog, thanks for your kind comments. Yes, on Midsummers day men can be transformed into whatever animal their masters want them to be. Poor Foxy won't really know what he is until I've finished with him, but he'll be a good boy for sure
Jun 23, 2024
6/24/24, 2:59 PM
Nice quick jot down a nice mind path. Loved it. Hope we get to have more lessons
6/24/24, 2:48 PM
Brilliant writing, hot, hot story.!
Sep 20, 2018
6/24/24, 1:44 PM
Like, O.M.G., giggles. So deliciously sexy hot n such a total turn on, to read n even feeling the need to read again n again. Giggles haha. Such a complete n quivering mess. Yummy sexy hot
Jun 23, 2024
6/23/24, 2:09 PM
Really loved this! Pushed quite a few of my buttons. And I'm always a sucker for a good unaware romp. Reading your story really showcased that you've got a keen eye for sentence structure and have been very deliberate with the flow of your text. I'm really toeing the line with what I'm classing as grammar here, but using "the other" in the paragraph Hayes pushes his chair back confused me; I needed to skip back to figure out who had done it. It's a very minor nitpick, but you've evidently got writing chops in spades, and I think your already well-written story would scan a lot better without using "the other" and similar epithets. Will eagerly (and patiently) await your next work!

6/24/24, 10:18 AM
@[imperatenor](/user/show/41745) oh hey! didn't think anyone was actually going to take me up on the writing concrit. your feedback's been really helpful, and I really appreciate you taking the time to point out the awkward phrasing (writing porn of two people with the same pronouns and genitalia really is a special kind of hell...) wish I had the time to do more thorough editing, but for now it's been fixed, pending site approval. all that aside, your kind comments on my work have really made my day :) thank you for your support!

6/24/24, 11:32 AM
@[lemonseeds](/user/show/1275816) Anytime! I'm glad you appreciated it as feedback, because it was such a nitpick that I debated even bringing it up. Why even are identical pronouns and compound predicates. Have we not been discriminated against enough? I think that we have a pretty similar writing style, so maybe the way I cheat around it could help you as well. Imma just rip a sentence: "The man hummed, leaning back in his seat. He scraped the flat of his shoe over the underside of Andre’s sensitive cock, and he whimpered, thrusting into the stimulation." Hot as fuck! But it's a little unclear which of the pronouns in the second sentence refers to which character, especially because there are two separate subject/predicate pairs:       1.   Hayes -> scraped (verb) his shoe -> Andre's cock (object)       2.   Andre -> was thrusting (verb) -> stimulation (object) from Hayes' shoe You can cheat it out by smacking in some free indirect speech in the middle instead of bridging it with commas: "Hayes hummed as he leaned back in his seat, shifting to scrape the flat of his shoe over the underside of Andre's cock. **The stimulation felt so good.** Andre couldn't help but whimper, thrusting his sensitive cock into the pressure of it." I think it kinda keeps the overall flow the same? Unsure. In any case, what you wrote is perfectly correct! I just really relate to the dreaded pronoun struggle so wanted to share in case this helps you too. Really keen to read more from you! Keeping my eyes peeled for when you post next.
Anonymous
6/24/24, 10:58 AM
Very sexy start... following for more!
Jun 23, 2024
6/23/24, 1:41 PM
Fun and hot story!

6/24/24, 10:33 AM
@[TheWalkingAlive](/user/show/925088) thank you so much!
Chapter 2 is hottest
6/24/24, 5:38 AM
Chapter 2 is hottest

6/24/24, 9:45 AM
@Chapter 2 is hottest Thanks! There’s more to consider — read MILK MAN 2
Anonymous
6/24/24, 7:57 AM
Very hot start, keen to see where this goes
Anonymous
6/23/24, 12:07 AM
Turning A Sphere Inside Out (1994) mentioned 🔥

6/24/24, 7:01 AM
@Anonymous Loved that tidbit