Recent Comments

Alex
2/6/24, 10:54 PM
I love that story, I really want to be Casey. Under the control of my alpha, even lose my beloved attributes if it is his wish.
CRH
2/1/24, 8:07 PM
Interesting idea, but I couldn't get through the writing. It's giving A.I. vibes. If not A.I., then bad writing. To hopefully illustrate that I'm not trying to be mean, but give constructive feedback, here are specific things that look A.I., and whether or not if it is A.I. or bad writing, could be touched up. Reusing same words/sentence structure: **Like always,** Marc wore an unbuttoned flowing shirt over a white tanktop and tight speedos. **Like always**, the blue-collar pool boy looked dirty-hot. **his Dad had been dating men barely older than Alan’s 18 years old. His 50-year-old father dating 20-somethings** certainly did not inspire Alan **Then, he would** make Marc obedient. **Then, he would** use Marc to seduce his father. Marc was absolutely his father’s type. **Then, he would** use Marc to dose his father with X-1207 and take control of the household.

Anon
2/1/24, 9:47 PM
@[CRH](/user/show/10047236) Hi CRH, sorry you didn't like my writing. For the record, the repetitive beginning to sentences is an intentional writing technique (Called Anaphora. I'll admit I had to look up the name to respond to this comment, and to prove to myself I wasn't crazy.) It is intended to create a cadence and emphasis. If you had read to the part where the PoV character changes, you would see the intentional repetition of '*Today is the day.*' as well. This is not AI writing, but the intentional creation of a parallel between the thought processes of the two main characters. There is some intentional repetition as the story shifts perspectives, where dialog is repeated but the narration indicates how the words have different meaning depending on who the PoV character is. Personally, I find the repetition enjoyable as it creates a cadence and (hopefully) evokes a hypnotic subtext. Sorry you didn't enjoy it.

Anon
2/6/24, 9:18 PM
@The Author (name hidden due to challenge) For what it's worth, I clocked the use of anaphora. I liked it.
Muscled_Oz
2/6/24, 11:59 AM
Got me horny as. Love sub rubber.

2/6/24, 8:14 PM
@Muscled_Oz That theme has so many possibilities. It's fun to write about.
2/6/24, 7:31 PM
This is so hot, holy shit
DMK
2/6/24, 7:10 PM
Awesome , loved it !
2/6/24, 1:05 AM
I remember reading this back in the day and I didnt know it got continued all these years later. Is there gonna be any future chapters?

2/6/24, 1:09 AM
@[Rad Pits](/user/show/2239300) @[Rad Pits](/user/show/2239300) Yes there will be. It's just that I have several different projects going. So I write a couple chapters and then move to the next project, write a couple there, and then eventually will circle back to this.

2/6/24, 4:44 PM
@[Nocturne13] Thats good to hear! I’m a little hesitant to finish ch 6 cuz i didnt wanna be stuck on a cliffhanger

2/6/24, 4:48 PM
@[Rad Pits](/user/show/2239300) No I don't think it's really a cliffhanger at the end of part 6. I was originally going to go a little bit longer and have a second sex scene right in the same part but I knew I wasn't going to have the time to finish it and I thought that the material was long enough to be a chapter. Now at the end of the next segment there's a little something that comes up that would feel like more of a cliffhanger I think. But that would be a spoiler if I said right?

2/6/24, 6:16 PM
@[Nocturne13](/user/show/263497) If I end up wanting to read more by the end of the chapter (which I think I will) then its ending on a cliffhanger on my books haha. Ive been reading this slowly for now and bookmarking my progress so that i can savor it more

2/6/24, 6:21 PM
@[Rad Pits](/user/show/2239300) Okay well if you need to read something after this then just go read Fracture: Physical
2/6/24, 4:30 PM
Oh wow, Iove the premise of this story! I love that those five powerful men who opposed the villian are thoroughly humbled and humiliated. Also the fact that the powerful men while a little pretentious are heroes who have wonderful intentions but are thhroughly and brutally humiliated is so hot. Powerful men who are also highminded and idealstic folks undergoing humiliation and defeat appeals to me so much. The only thing is even though the concept of five powerful men jibes with me, I mainly liked Agares and Andros, though thats mainly because they were a hunk and young handsome guy, the others were not to my taste, though I loved seeing their humiliation. Any chance of seeing another story where a group of powerful and respected men are humiliated? Like royalty and nobles, or a band of heroes who are also occupying powerful positions like in this story? All good men like the council but who are debased by depraved men who have it in for them. Also to me it would be even hotter, if they realize whats happening to them but can't resist, physically compelled but keep their minds to witness their downfall. Publically humiliated in front of the people they serve too.
2/6/24, 2:16 PM
Hey Ya'll Im revisiting this story and adding more However the rewrite is gonna cause this chapter to become 2 because of how much I added in lol. Edit: I'm so sorry for leaving you guys in the lurch with this story! I've been away due to investing time into my art skills and getting a new job and the such. Prepare for Nico to come back better than ever!!
2/6/24, 10:50 AM
Can't wait for more
2/6/24, 9:57 AM
You have got to make more of these stories man!!