Recent Comments

Anonymous
12/23/23, 1:41 AM
I tried to follow along with this interesting twist, but I ended up really confused. Everything was great up until now, so having Steve be the one under the influence the whole time (with no major hints to suggest otherwise) seemingly came out of nowhere. It’s a great idea, but I’m struggling a bit.

12/23/23, 11:56 AM
@Anonymous I was trying to hide the plot twist but had thought I left in subtle clues as I went along: I thought I had given it away last chapter with the overly convoluted wording Steve used that would see his own hypnosis revealed to him that felt very oddly phrased even to me. Hank's chapter was supposed to be the biggest suggestion that something was amiss, I even put in that he didn't vocalise something without saying what it was; however, the main issue was the logic Steve used to hypnotise relied on the fact that hypnosis sceptic Hank had to believe hypnosis was real for it to work.
12/21/23, 10:49 PM
Well-crafted, as usual; and, I get the Robby Ray reference ("All it takes is a fairy..."),, Pupscout.

12/23/23, 12:27 AM
@[Hypnominion](/user/show/453215) I'm glad somebody got it. Interesting that you're reading this -- Wolf Murdock plays a significant role in my novel, THE CENTAUR'S JOURNEY, Pholus Book 3. Poor Murdock...

Anonymous
12/23/23, 7:28 AM
@[absman420](/user/show/162063) I'll purchase your novel in the New Year (the Holidays killed my budget for this month); looking forward to it.
12/23/23, 4:50 AM
I really don't enjoy giving bad reviews to stories on this site. I do appreciate the imagination and writing skills of the authors. I appreciate the time the authors devote to write stories their readers will enjoy. But in my mind the absolute worst stories here are those that have an interesting plot, good characters and relationship development -- the well-written stories i love the most that leave me hanging for months waiting to know what happened to the friends i made reading the story and the author i felt so much kinship with. This story was particularly difficult. I do feel badly about my review, but because this story was cut off so early in a promising life, it can no longer be one of my favorites. I still have hopes that with further chapters this problem could be rectified, but only time will tell. I do apologize for writing a critique that may leave other readers wanting more. Trust me. I understand.
Doopboopdoop
12/23/23, 4:10 AM
Would love to see a continuation of this! Great story, consider the corruption to be on par with my favorite author on this site (EdIAm).
Wafflederg
12/22/23, 2:50 PM
As a concept I really like this, though I think it would have been better served with a more drawn out change, rather than 0 to 100% in a night

Zander
12/22/23, 6:27 PM
@Wafflederg I agree with you 100%. But I would also like Marty Inga's wife to pay cruelly for treason) I do not like when other people who trusted and loved you are used, as a result they were paid with betrayal.I think (my personal opinion)that such people should pay for it.

12/23/23, 4:04 AM
@Wafflederg The effect I was striving for was of a sudden change, one that would be an extreme shock to the person it was being done to. It would also be interesting to spread it out over more time, as you suggested, which I'll keep in mind for a future story. Thanks.

12/23/23, 4:08 AM
@[Zander](/user/show/10015044) Inga felt misused by her husband and justified in inflicting the paybacks. I like the idea of him seeing his downfall as unfair, which intensifies his feelings about it. Thanks for your feedback.
12/22/23, 10:04 PM
Spanking isn't my thing, but I do love the control and conversion process. Its really hot. And I love how you keep to the characters and make them fun.

12/23/23, 3:19 AM
@[Neon Demon](/user/show/10023852) Thanks. The fact you're enjoying the story even though spanking isn't a kink you have is a huge compliment!
12/17/23, 9:35 AM
Loving this series so far, looking forward to next chapter

12/23/23, 3:16 AM
@[JJ_blueeyes](/user/show/949970) Thanks! I have to remember to keep posting here.
12/21/23, 4:32 AM
I loved seeing Captain America slowly start to give in. I hope Handler escapes and managers to make him succumb completely. It’s such a hot visual

12/22/23, 8:24 PM
@[bas_w123](/user/show/10020618) Agreed, the reason I keep returning to this story is because I want to see Cap completely under the Handler’s control!

12/23/23, 3:16 AM
@[bas_w123](/user/show/10020618) Something about what Cap represents, he's just pure zonk bait, isn't he?

12/23/23, 3:16 AM
@[ls1999](/user/show/2758081) Keep reading, you never know who will fall next!
Dec 22, 2023
12/23/23, 2:54 AM
I DEFINITELY need another chapter. See how Ralph reacts to his loss
Dec 21, 2023
12/22/23, 9:47 PM
Wow what a story, just finished the full novel and it was a thoroughly enjoyable read. As a sucker for a happy romantic ending, especially involving polyamorous groups, I won't say I wasn't a little disappointed by Eddie's fate. The finall confrontation also felt a little anticlimactic, like it was over before it really began and there was never actually a moment were Eddie might have succeeded. But there were also so many things about the story that really had me hooked. Cycling teams are a very under appreciated niche in the world of sports themed fetish erotica, despite being so well suited to them. The team work, the uniforms, the built in hierarchy of the different members, all innately submissive to the leader, lend themselves perfectly to the drone story genre and I'm thrilled you decided to go this direction. The many subversions and misdirects throughout were thrilling and really kept up the suspense. I kept second guessing who the villain was actually going to be until almost the very end. Was it Devin or was it Ryder? All the different hints at Ryders means of control, never giving anyway too much away until the reveal but just enough to keep the mystery going. The seeming conflict between Ryder's group and the implanted, between the natural athletes and the artifically enhanced appeared at first to be the central theme of the narrative only for that too to be turned on its head. What an absolutely fantastic novel. Really hope you chose to write more in this genre and style.

12/22/23, 10:39 PM
@[phillipsm](/user/show/919402) First things first -- thank you very much! I'm glad you spent the time with it and enjoyed it. I worked really hard to keep the creepiness and paranoia building, with Eddie realizing he was walking into the trap, but not quite getting the weight of those decisions -- writing it all of as roleplay. I'm glad you felt it paid off. > The final confrontation also felt a little anticlimactic, like it was over before it really began and there was never actually a moment were Eddie might have succeeded. I understand this comment. I tossed out a red herring there, I admit, but I wanted the reader to root for Eddie so I could take that away from them. Also to give me some forward motion toward the end of the book. A couple of the critiques I've gotten wished I'd made more of the personality changes after being Implanted -- like the Stepford Wives homage with Kelley. I get that. I thought Eddie's happy capitulation -- that he knew what had been done to him, but he didn't care as long as he remained the Favorite -- was enough, but I realize i could've gone further. Again, thank you for your kind words and for slogging through it. If you would be so kind as to leave me a review on Amazon, I'd appreciate it! edited to add: I agree with you about the bike eroticism, but I was really looking at the group masturbation scenes as the focus

12/23/23, 2:04 AM
@[absman420](/user/show/162063) No, thank you very much for penning such a thrilling novel. The build up definitely paid off. Your never sure what which trap Eddie is walking into until its too late. I suspected it was a deliberate decision to through in a little extra twist right at the end. Very George R.R. Martin of you. I think the personality changes were handled very well. The amplification of Devin's negative traits and libido and the stepfordization of Kelley seemed fairly clear. Especially contrasted against Ryder's group and their hostility towards the Implant. Thats what lead me to think the conflict in the story was going to be Eddie resisting the temptation of the Implant and succumbing to Ryder's programming. Honestly are the first few riding scenes I was thinking that Ryder was using audio hyponsis and the walkie talkies to program thw guys. Then again if all the guys on the team were Implanted as well, maybe their hostility towards the others doesn't actually make sense. Perhaps you could have gone a little further with it because Eddie copulating didn't really come across that clearly to me. Will absolutely do that. Hopefully the good reviews will encourage you to write more long form novels like this in the future. Oh I totally agree that the group masturbation scenes were the focus of the overtly erotic scenes, I was talking more of the subtle eroticism of the bike time. Plus I didn't want to give away the big pay off scenes in case someone read the comments before they finished the whole novel.