Recent Comments

12/16/23, 1:01 PM
Thanks for slowing the pace, love where this is going and could go.
12/16/23, 1:01 PM
i LOVE THIS! Cant wait for more chapters
12/16/23, 12:18 PM
This series was just fun and fantastic. i hope it continues!
Anonymous
12/16/23, 7:00 AM
Still hoping part 3 is coming soon!
12/13/23, 7:17 AM
Incredibly poignant. You can really feel the depth of Talley's emotions here. It shows how special this/these relationships were to him, and how difficult it was to leave them behind. It almost makes you question the old saying "It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all." Because the sadness you feel from Talley is heartbreaking. Of course, it could all be better if Riki and Mads show up for Talley in the future sometime. The sex scenes are incredibly vivid too, and it makes me want to go read the stories with Talley, Riki, and Mads that just focus on the fun sexy times. Also, as a top who is sometimes submissive, we should normalize Dom bottoms. I hope Talley can have some holesome happy experiences as one in the near future.

12/16/23, 6:32 AM
@[Naedre](/user/show/931338) I’m glad that the feeling of loss came through in full. My first draft of this story had some hollowness behind it, and I don’t think it would have been nearly as good if time.to.occur hadn’t pointed out how much I still needed to do to achieve a natural, realistic depiction of Talley’s emotional state and experience of loss. And I have to thank you, too, for helping me add even more. Honestly, it would have been so cute and romantic if they _did_ show up right at the end. But I’ve already deceived the readers enough with such a seemingly happy ending that I don’t want to give even more false hope, heh. I do want to bring them around sooner or later, though. Talley needs them; that much is obvious.
Anonymous
12/16/23, 6:08 AM
I'm excited to see where this goes
offeringservice26
12/16/23, 5:25 AM
HOT story!!!! So many of my fantasies all rolled up into one! Not sure if this is your first story entirely or just your first one on this site, but you’re off to an amazing start!
bigjoe
12/16/23, 5:09 AM
hot story man! made me cum!!
bigjoe
12/16/23, 5:08 AM
Nice story! Cute pfp! Is that you?
12/5/23, 9:12 PM
I have to agree with Hypnothrill. It's a great setup and very promising plot to be something very exciting, but the storytelling was just way too rushed. At times it was almost a ramble of things all blurred into a convoluted paragraph, and many of the characters were not properly introduced so it got a bit confusing later on as to who is doing what with who (also I think some names were not consistent, for example, Alex's father was James/Jason). Slow down the pacing of the story, give everyone a proper entrance into the story, and give it some space to elaborate a bit on the flow of events, descriptions of different scenes and setups, the takeover of the guys, their commands, and the actions. I know it's easy to get carried away and get excited at wanting to throw everything into it, but once you're done, give it a full re-read to make sure the flow is evenly paced, well balanced, no typos, mistakes, or rambling sentences or paragraphs. It's a good start nonetheless! :wink:

MakoTaco
12/16/23, 2:05 AM
@[tomozco](/user/show/13902) Best feedback I’ve seen on this site tbh!