Recent Comments

12/5/23, 4:22 AM
Very hot premise and some good kinky imagery, but I felt like the story was moving too fast. By my count, you introduced 16 named characters in this 2400 word story, and it was hard to keep track of them all.
12/5/23, 4:16 AM
Interesting premise and very hot transformations, right up my alley. I’d suggest slowing it down a little, maybe with several parts, to explore each of the characters and their respective changes a little more fully. It would also be easier to read with more paragraph breaks, as well, but it was worth the read.
Anonymous
9/26/19, 2:31 PM
I'm still hard and I read it three times. More!!!!!

Anonymous
12/5/23, 12:16 AM
@Anonymous Same here!
PupSocksCLT
12/4/23, 11:28 PM
Hope you continue this! Very excited to see where the Oscar/Bruce storyline goes. :) awesome job on both chapters. Love this concept idea!

12/5/23, 12:02 AM
@PupSocksCLT Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed! Maybe if I get the itch I can add a new chapter in the future. Well see haha šŸ˜‰
12/4/23, 11:28 PM
Hot and fun and great start. One thing that has me eyebrow raising his his homophobic nature. Its fun, especially with how much subby cock locing slutty boy he will be, but with his father of this stuff it's off. Not a big off but a "huh" thing. Beyond that sexy. So the oldest brother being smaller and with a dude makes me hope said brother is a dominant top. Amd he can make those effected by the injection his subby good boys. Hehe Nice start, looking forward to this! Also i really like the setting details given.
Anonymous
12/4/23, 10:56 PM
Please continue this
Peter
12/4/23, 10:50 PM
oh, would love to be transformed like Tommy can't wait for the second part.
12/4/23, 10:41 PM
GREAT start!
12/4/23, 11:38 AM
I like himbo stories, but some editing is needed to smooth readability e.g. picking up on sentences with missing logic. Para 3 for example omits Chad's interest in airheads

Caris
12/4/23, 1:25 PM
Hi, editing would not have hurt, but I am not sure it would have helped here on your example. My response would have been why this is 3rd person limited omniscient, not 3rd person full omniscient. The narrator only knows what James/Jimmy knows. J/J does not care about the relative intelligence, he is jealous of the guys that he sees his crush Chet is going for at the club. Apparent tall, fit, conventionally attrative people James is not factoring in their intelligence in at all. Which factors in something, in this story Chet is a magufin, not a character. J/J wants Chet, but if you notice he doesn't seem to know a lot about him. A perfectly valid expansion of this story is to turn it into a be careful what you wish for, and Chet ultimately rejects Jimmy for being to shallow. I am not interested in writing a long form story. I just wanted to write a vignette.

12/4/23, 7:45 PM
@Caris What a great response!
12/4/23, 4:28 PM
Great chapter!