Recent Comments

12/4/23, 11:28 PM
Hot and fun and great start. One thing that has me eyebrow raising his his homophobic nature. Its fun, especially with how much subby cock locing slutty boy he will be, but with his father of this stuff it's off. Not a big off but a "huh" thing. Beyond that sexy. So the oldest brother being smaller and with a dude makes me hope said brother is a dominant top. Amd he can make those effected by the injection his subby good boys. Hehe Nice start, looking forward to this! Also i really like the setting details given.
Anonymous
12/4/23, 10:56 PM
Please continue this
Peter
12/4/23, 10:50 PM
oh, would love to be transformed like Tommy can't wait for the second part.
12/4/23, 10:41 PM
GREAT start!
12/4/23, 11:38 AM
I like himbo stories, but some editing is needed to smooth readability e.g. picking up on sentences with missing logic. Para 3 for example omits Chad's interest in airheads

Caris
12/4/23, 1:25 PM
Hi, editing would not have hurt, but I am not sure it would have helped here on your example. My response would have been why this is 3rd person limited omniscient, not 3rd person full omniscient. The narrator only knows what James/Jimmy knows. J/J does not care about the relative intelligence, he is jealous of the guys that he sees his crush Chet is going for at the club. Apparent tall, fit, conventionally attrative people James is not factoring in their intelligence in at all. Which factors in something, in this story Chet is a magufin, not a character. J/J wants Chet, but if you notice he doesn't seem to know a lot about him. A perfectly valid expansion of this story is to turn it into a be careful what you wish for, and Chet ultimately rejects Jimmy for being to shallow. I am not interested in writing a long form story. I just wanted to write a vignette.

12/4/23, 7:45 PM
@Caris What a great response!
12/4/23, 4:28 PM
Great chapter!
Anonymous
12/4/23, 1:22 PM
I want more
mic
12/4/23, 10:58 AM
Love the filming and clothes snatching , please more jock story’s like that
12/4/23, 9:45 AM
Like Norismo, I adore himbo stories.
12/4/23, 8:57 AM
I love a himbo story. I liked the changing of the rooms changing james, that was a fun way to go about it.

12/4/23, 9:06 AM
@[Norismo](/user/show/2849185) I'm glad you liked it.