Recent Comments

11/26/23, 11:26 PM
Oh this is hot. Our guy needs to rim and finger and fuck the pastor. Make him see stars! Make him moan in bliss and loose all thoughts but being a good boy. I hope he doesn't publicly ruin the pastor. Much better to keep him public as he us and enjoy him privately for a long while. Hehe

11/27/23, 10:17 PM
@[Heru Kane](/user/show/56823) I agree, I also wouldn't like him to humiliate the pastor publicly, only privately, to ensure that the handsome guy serves him with his money, resources and especially his body.
11/27/23, 10:12 PM
I don't know how you did it, but you managed to write an even better and sexier chapter than the first. I especially like how Cole and Patrick's humiliation profiles for the pastor are different enough to believe they were done by different people with different feelings. Patrick's sexual desire for Pastor Frederick mixed with a background of romanticism and good confrontational dialogues did the trick to ensure a great read. Speaking of which, answering your question in the previous chapter, I think you managed to demonstrate, both in chapter 1 and in this one, how despicable Pastor Frederick's opinions are without forgetting Patrick's selfishness and cupidity or the great sociopath that is Cole . Not to mention that Pastor Frederick seems to have these opinions more because he is simple-minded and has a flawed moral character than out of real evil. An exceptionally handsome guy who truly enjoys religious life, but there's no shortage of opportunities (women, money...) tempting him to push him away for true purification. And with a madly horny homosexual in him and full access to his body and mind, it's going to be impossible for the poor guy. And I love it! Looking forward to chapter 3.
Anonymous
11/27/23, 10:01 PM
Yeah! That would be so hot if Apollo is getting fucked by his Tio upstairs while Nico’s wife is obliviously making lunch for them in the kitchen. Later, Apollo eats the sandwiches she made for them while his hole is full of her husband’s cum.
11/27/23, 5:09 AM
Great premise, but I just wish that the story was longer. It feels like you're sort of rushing towards that ironic twist ending, whereas it would have been fun and sexy to spend a bit more time filling in the backstory of how Clive got taken over and how he behaved as part of the hive mind.

11/27/23, 9:35 PM
@[Hypnothrill](/user/show/37386) The plan was to work on a different story because what I had written seemed awkward and clunky, three rewrites later and it was still awkward and clunky. This was a result of my mind wandering off. The lack of detail of what happened beforehand was deliberate as the outline for this was set out with every part justified from the alien's perspective despite them not really appearing in the storyline. I suppose it shows that in the end I was probably thinking of Clive as a fleshy meatbag that I used as a plot device rather than an actual character; I should have padded it out more but I wanted to get to a conclusion to move on and get back to what I intended to do.
11/27/23, 8:11 PM
This was really cute, can't wait to see how it goes next!
11/27/23, 5:35 PM
Damn! Johnny’s hungry cunt is going into Cunt Training Camp as well as football camp. Lucky bitch is going to be a pro by the time camp is over but how do you go from taking all that jock cock every day to just a few every day? His pussy is going be addicted to all that cock and cum. ??
11/26/23, 1:45 AM
YES! Robert finally got his comeuppance! I was scared when it seemed like Chris was lost, but the twist of Zeke saving the day with lies was brilliant. Glad to see that Robert can’t hurt anyone any longer, and that Chris and Alex get a happy (if himbo) ending. Amazing story! :)

11/27/23, 4:01 AM
@[Feed Your Head](/user/show/1170832) I'm glad you liked it! This was my first series and I might come back to it if people want. I wasn't sure if I could write something like this too well so I'm encouraged that you thought it was that good!

11/27/23, 4:32 PM
@[Riko](/user/show/24776) Really enjoyed this series!
11/27/23, 4:27 PM
Great story. I see what you mean by developing the character of the person whose mind is being controlled. Very seductively done.
StormRaven1217
11/27/23, 4:16 PM
I like where this one's going. I was hoping in this chapter we would learn more about how the main character became a zombie though.
Anonymous
11/25/23, 12:00 AM
Really love this series and your writing. Sanjay is a great protagonist and I like how he acts between being put under the spell and out of it. Looking forward to seeing where this story goes what with Quintin now involved and hopefully Djinn will be back soon. I do have one quick question though. I was just re-reading some of the older chapters and in Chapter XIV I notice that when Sanjay is guided by Djinn outside and Sanjay looks at his palace while in the spell you wrote: "In razor sharp stylized lettering that lights up in the middle of the lamp’s cheek, reads:" Is there perhaps a sentence missing here? I'm guessing there is supposed to be something here in the story (such as the name of his company or something because your next sentence is): "The lettering shimmers on the electric display before BURSTING forward into sparks and fog before dissipating."

11/25/23, 12:03 AM
@Anonymous Ehhh lousy phrasing on my part. I was trying to portray the company’s logo as some fancy electronic display that uses, like, holographic effects or some shit. Kiiiiiind of dropped a ball or two when I was describing that part. I might have to go back and see if I can do it better >.>

Anonymous
11/27/23, 4:26 AM
@[NewsScene](/user/show/270454) Oh don't worry. You definitely succeeded on that part with regards to making it sound very fancy with the electronic display and effects. That's definitely how I interpreted it. I just thought with that first line about the letters that maybe there was supposed to be a line there talking about the companies name or something. So really all I think you need to do is to just remove that “In razor sharp stylized lettering that lights up in the middle of the lamp’s cheek, reads:” line as that, combined with the colon gives the impression that there should be a line there about the lettering in particular.

11/27/23, 3:18 PM
@Anonymous Like, I wanted to portray the lettering to have the same kind of ‘font’ as the Kingdom Hearts logo, and I guess my powers of articulation has become limited 0-0