Recent Comments

11/17/23, 11:26 PM
2. The time Jamie was in the club and at Master's HQ. This has bothered me a little every time I've read this Chapter. I guess I have something in common with Atlas - getting lost in the details. 😒 Fade or Remedy said he was in there an hour when the final scene happens.Jamie was with Theo/08/Horizon at least a half hour, and spent another one Pet/DS-011's care. Plus, he spent a while with Master. I'd say 2 hrs is more likely. Did the Fucksticks show up late to the party?
11/17/23, 11:25 PM
OK. So just finished my reread of Chapter 5 and have a few notes. 1. One thing that could drive Jamie into Master's warm latex embrace? Getting proof that Master's tale of the League being behind his building explosion is true. He's not likely to get that, but learning about Cerberus might be enough to make him believe it.
11/17/23, 10:10 PM
Hate to see Hatim go, but love to watch him walk away!

11/17/23, 11:09 PM
@[bluesuedewho](/user/show/1225367) I was surprised people wanted to get rid of Hatim, since he seemed like such a favorite! Or a favourite, for our Anglophile readers. Ah well, we must do as the public demands...
11/17/23, 10:17 PM
I'm curious to see how Matt will change Jack now the every two days limit with Jack has been circumvented by the dicknotizing.
11/17/23, 10:11 PM
Too short! But a fun little nugget for sure. 🙂
Martin
11/17/23, 9:55 PM
What a unique and hot concept! I'm not too fond of superhero stories, but this one hits my buttons just right!
Nov 17, 2023
11/17/23, 9:38 PM
Great first story. There are a few grammar errors, but nothing that pulls from the story. Be proud of it! Will we get anymore men turned into champions? Will we get a champions' orgy?
11/17/23, 7:24 PM
I loved the descriptions of work gear coupled with hypno inhalants and visuals. The setup to get there was hot too, with men disappearing and a hypnotic bull milk drink in theory this story checks my biggest boxes. I think leaning into those strengths and the work camp setting would be a boon. That said, I couldn’t feel myself get into it and my guess is hypnothrill has the right of it. This could have used more character development to make both the betrayal and the decision to undo mistakes more impactful. The loss of individuality and conversion to drone is more sexually and narratively stimulating when a full person’s thoughts and feelings are subjugated or lost.
11/17/23, 6:41 PM
That was great, I liked the voice in his head saying, "More. More!"
mic
11/17/23, 6:00 PM
so cool ideas, please more, more second raw lockers, the fucker should have emptied his locker out, or he should get locked naked in his locker till next day, or other people should give him humiliating clothes and empty his locker