Recent Comments

8/23/23, 8:33 PM
Interesting buildup, hot ending. Looking forward to see where this goes next with dad joining the gym too!
Zander
8/22/23, 1:44 PM
I will wait for the continuation
8/22/23, 1:38 PM
Es emocionante leer una historia en un idioma distinto del inglés. Un desarrollo emocionante y lógico que pide una secuela.
Martin
8/22/23, 12:46 PM
¡Esta es una secuencia de control mental extremadamente apasionante! ¿Esto va a continuar?
8/23/23, 5:49 PM
Super hot! Would love to see a companion piece about someone wanting to become popular and then running into airheaded little Andy…
8/23/23, 5:43 PM
I keep on coming back here to see if Chapter 6 is in. Honestly in love with this series. Master @Kods, have mercy. Please bless us with your chapter 6 🙏
8/23/23, 5:40 PM
Great stuff. You could add in some other kinks as well, for example the preppy guy who tums into a skinhead or punk complete with boots, piercings and tatts
Martin
8/23/23, 5:23 PM
Could you please make your chapters a little longer in the future? They should have more than 1000 words. For now I've approved it, but usually we need at least 1000 words per chapter. Thanks.
8/22/23, 7:51 PM
Welcome to the writer's room!!! You've done a good job for your first submission. It definitely has room to go in different directions if you want to continue on with it. You could definitely explore the relationship between Gavin and Anthony and its effect on Anthony's life as Chief and husband and father. Or you could just explore the relationship in and of itself. I could see Gavin being brought in the department and working his technique in a lieutenant or sergeant or two or three. But your first piece is a very good start for your pieces on this site; so welcome again to the writer's side of the site and please keep on producing stories like these.

8/23/23, 5:03 PM
@[New Guy in Town](/user/show/820450) Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I've been writing another longer-form story with similar power dynamics, hopefully I could explore those possibilities there.
8/23/23, 5:02 PM
The concept is inspired and I really like how you break the father/son line. Once you cross the line, don't hold back. Give me some of their memories together. Get BAD!