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Quick correction: Instead of "I really wish" I meant to write "I still kinda wish". I accidentally sent my "first draft" which was more of my happy ending bias instead of asking how it fits the story and its atmosphere. I felt it needed to correct that just so you'd know this is not a criticism or something that takes away points from the story and your writing. 😅

I forgot to say than Ben's character was super sweet and his chemistry with Kyle, both as friends and as lovers was wholesome and hot. I'm happy he didn't turn into a domineering douchebag and that both of them stayed themselves (at least mentally). I also appreciate that you took the time to give Olivia character and didn't just write her off. It made the story more realistic and at the same time showed that at least at first she really did love him and cared enough to try as much as possible. Sex wise, Ben and Kyle's first sex post transformation was extremely hot. Once again their chemistry made it more than just sex while at the same time their lust made it primal. Okay, I'll shut up now.

@Reader Thanks for all your comments, I love hearing feedback! I think that’s a general theme for me, small seemingly inconsequential decisions having permanent life altering impact. It’s an interesting idea. As for Ben being rich and sought after by everyone, well Kyle was pretty sought after too! It’s just Kyle’s a bit of an unreliable narrator. He hated the changes and his loss of masculinity so much that he couldn’t feel attractive anymore. None of that meant he wasn’t incredibly attractive, just in a new way. Both Kyle and Ben were in idealized forms, it’s just that Ben’s form was that of traditional masculinity. Don’t get me wrong it was tough on Kyle for him to undergo such a radical shift in his identity, but he was still very attractive. And he did get the tiniest restoration of his body when Ben was able to give him back his foreskin. A little return to normalcy. With Olivia I felt it was important to show she still loved Kyle and did everything she could to make things work. She was willing to adapt to his new body, she loved him not the form he was in. But Kyle wasn’t willing to adapt, to work with her. He hated his new body so much that he no longer felt deserving of love and really pushed her away. In the end it was too much for her. I’m always glad to hear people asking about more writing from me, even if I do feel a little bad for not being so productive! I’ve got one other story written and published, but it’s a furry based story (humans turning into animalistic forms) and I knows that’s pretty divisive and not everyone’s cup of tea. After that I’ve got a few half-written bits and pieces, along with a document of a few hundred outlines for stories. My problem is finding the time to get them all written out and turned into something others can read. So I’m still working away, but no real timeline to report.

@[Lloyd Irving](/user/show/346316) I totally agree about the seemingly inconsequential decision having major impacts premise is extremely interesting. In some sense I think it's part of what made Kyle so easy to identify with. He is just a normal guy. He didn't do anything out of the ordinary that will make everyday people "safe". It's strange; being Jewish I've been circumcised my whole life minus one week), so it's harder for me to imagine the difference between having foreskin and not having one. However, I can understand how the restoration of his foreskin made him feel a little more like his old self, especially since the loss of his dick was one if not the hardest punches to his ego. I guess it is also connected to the fact that this is what started it all. I love that you made him an unreliable narrator, it's not common yet it served its purpose perfectly: During the bar scenes I was sure at first that he's being rejected because he is more beautiful than he is, but then, as he described his feelings and we saw how things roll out in his eyes, I started believing him. I thought that he became beautiful in Ben's eyes either by becoming the beauty ideal of warrior Ben as he was made for him or that he became beautiful just like Ben became the ideal man for him through the mental change happening in the transaction and/or the aura warrior Ben projected as we see basically everyone falling for him. I like that you mentioned that Ben's masculinity is more traditional because it implies the (correct) notion that masculinity comes in many forms and Kyle can find a new path for himself. Trying to put myself in his shoes, I imagined it as feeling almost claustrophobic, being trapped in a foreign body, and after finding out its irreversible, you either have to find the power to reinvent yourself or lose yourself. If you ever come back to the story, I think it would be very interesting to find out more about what was the role of the companion (other than sexual gratification) and how they were chosen. It could also be interesting if someone else will go through a similar transformation and we'll meet Kyle as some sort of a guide or counselor. As for the furry story, I'm starting to read it now. While full sex transformation is less my thing (being gay and all), a good story is a good story and from what I read so far it looks very promising 🙂

@Reader The common thread between several of my story ideas is circumcision. I’ve always found the notion fascinating. It’s one of the few real life transformations (surgical not magical) that happen to so many people and is commonly accepted. And yet it’s a radical reshaping of a person’s body, more often than not without their consent. I enjoy the idea of that smaller mundane reshaping leading to a larger more fantastic reshaping. It’s always interesting to hear differing perspectives on circumcision, how people ended up as they did. Once more, small choices that lead to lifelong consequences. I’m not circumcised, but I think I have a decent idea of what it would be like. The intriguing part is if it were permanent, being trapped like that. It’s both fascinating and horrifying. Which I think echos your comment on being trapped in a foreign body and being claustrophobic. That’s exactly what I was going for! That notion that the very flesh one find oneself in is not the flesh one would choose. Then being left to adapt and learn to make that flesh one’s own, or spend one’s life hating oneself. I tried to strike a balance. With the unreliable narrator aspect, I definitely envisioned that Kyle was incredibly good looking, just not in a way Kyle would appreciate. Even more than that his hatred for his new body being imposed on him makes him dislike it even more regardless of the reality. But to any outside observer Kyle would be considered beautiful, if not handsome. His form is still idealized, just not an ideal he wanted. Picture the perfect twink. Ben on the other hand got the perfect traditional masculine ideal, a form much easier to idolize. As for coming back to this universe, (with Kyle as the foremost expert on the Ixlutani both due to his academic work and firsthand experience), I’ve thought about it but I’m not sure it’s a good idea. I’m afraid I’d be writing a story for the sake of of writing rather than having an actual idea to communicate. It’s probably end up a jumbled mess. That being said I’ve toyed around with the idea of moving femininity around rather than masculinity. And I’ll also point out that Ben got Kyle out of the cave before the process had fully run its course. Neither were fully transformed. (Exactly what that means, I haven’t decided yet!) And I won’t spoil the ending of The Metamorphosis story I’ve got out there, but for the main characters there aren’t any full sex transformations. Everyone who changes in the story finishes with a male gender identity.

@Reader If you want to chat about my other story, or just stuff in general, we probably shouldn't fill up up the comment section here. And I've posted my stories in enough places it's tough to keep track. (and many aren't so good about comment notifications!) You can send me a DM on my twitter https://twitter.com/LloydIrving10 , or if that doesn't work for you I'm sure I can find a place where we can correspond.

@[Lloyd Irving](/user/show/346316) Oops, I accidentally missed your last comment. I'd love to chat and I'll DM you later today :)

@[Lloyd Irving](/user/show/346316) Hey, apparently your tweeter can't be DMed for some reason. I'll DM you here (when I figure out how) and we'll try and solve it? My twitter is @poernerlook