@Man_with_a_spoon How sweet! And are you a Pipe Smoker now?

@Mr.Pipe Expert I confess I am, but just with him.

@Man_with_a_spoon Aww. That's kinda sweet.

@[F0000](/user/show/1010877) My advice is to divide and conquer! Let me try answer each question for you. 1. I wouldn't say *rude,* That is to say, there might be any-and-all manner of things you might notice about a roommate, a neighbour, a person on the street etc, and *not* comment on it, mightn't there? We don't always mention things we notice, do we? Call it human nature. I wouldn't say *rude*. 2. Without realizing it? I would say not, *however*, one of our more prodigious pipe collectors says he can tame new pipes simply by shushing them and not engaging verbally whatsoever. He's reported success by choosing a private, secluded moment to confidently pluck the pipe up and calmly shush any immediate questioning from it. He then just gets on with business in silence. He argues that doing this leaves an open question (much like my "two smoke" trick), which — if you don't answer — leaves the pipe no choice but to feel out the situation in a more tactile sphere. He will use the pipe and then either return it to it's body (after which he carries on as normal) or, begin the taming prosses to become that pipe's new full-time owner. He also claims—and this spills into question three—that pipes tamed this way tend to remain silent and behave closer to fully inanimate possessions sooner and more readily. He says he has two such pipes in a display case that he keeps separate to the rest of his collection. I could perhaps send you on his contact details if you're interested to know more about his methods. My advice for Roommate and Roommate's Father is: divide and conquer. Try Roommate first. Perhaps buy some beers and invite him to watch a game. Tell him you've picked an evening. I'm too old for them myself, but video games are an idea, especially if it means *him* holding a controller and focusing elsewhere! If you live together, conditioning him should be easy once you traverse the bumpy early uses. For Father, it may be more complex. General dos and donts are; a. Don't use either of them in the company of the other. At least initially, or, if one is being tamed for ownership and the other not. b. If you plan on owning both of them permanently, try to have one as your main pipe, and one just for special occasions. For at least the first few months. c. Make sure you have ample living space for two headless drones to lounge about, rest, sleep and/or answer the various calls of nature without stress, discomfort or injury. Oh! (gosh looks like *my* answers are also longer than expected), while I did say "don't use one in front of the other" having son well into the ownership process—perhaps resting on a nice stand your room—and body lounging comfortably somewhere out of sight. What a good excuse to invite Father in when he calls; claim son must've popped out for five minutes and can you grab Father's coat? or make him a coffee until Son appears? Sometimes a short conversation is all it takes to break the ice and get the ball rolling.

@[bkhseattle](/user/show/914847) Thank you for reading!