Recent Comments

6/12/23, 9:04 AM
First of all, I would like to congratulate you for writing, in my humble opinion, the best story in a series (at least among those that are being updated frequently), which is perhaps not worth much because many do not complete the stories unfortunately, but it definitely does because this is your first story and you write it so well. You convey the voices of the characters well, to the point that it is easy to differentiate the characters and your narrative is solid and in this chapter it was especially good, you managed to advance three plots in just one chapter and in a way that made sense. That said, I think there are divergences in expectations of what you write and what I believe the community expects based on the different feedback from the last few chapters. I, for one, thought that while Dexter rationally acknowledged that Cody is the best-looking guy in school (he's a very smart person after all), he had a much bigger crush on Rich, who is a handsome competitive athlete, "perfect" (in Dexter's own words) seemingly good-natured (Despite what Cody thinks, I theorize that Rich just seems like someone pressured, probably by his father, to be the best at every activity of his.) and hard-working enough to get grades as good as Dexter himself, instead of just being a hot, charming asshole like Cody. I'm saying this because, although like many I wouldn't conduct Dexter's modus operandi and his decisions the same way you do, I fully trust your ability to continue this story in the best way, as your responses to the questions in the first comments were very satisfactory. For me, even I don't agree 100% with them. I eagerly await the next chapter. Best Wishes.
Nov 26, 2021
6/12/23, 6:17 AM
That was a fantastic story, loved their transformation and how in the end their love was stronger. They emerged from the experience a better couple, that's great. I wish there was a sequel.
6/12/23, 6:07 AM
Much better chapter! I like this how Lennie’s pitting the jocks against each other, thats very hot. Yeah you definitely need to do part 4
6/12/23, 5:47 AM
Well that's a fun premise!
6/12/23, 5:39 AM
Interesting setup! Curious to see where you take this
6/12/23, 4:59 AM
Of course! Can't wait!
Jun 9, 2023
6/12/23, 3:34 AM
I enjoyed this one a lot. There's a sweetness to it.
Anonymous
6/12/23, 2:10 AM
Great story
5/21/23, 2:50 AM
This was a lot of fun to read, if a touch disjoint at times, though I'm not sure that took much away from it. I really loved the idea of sexual exploration via subliminals, which would take role playing that one step further. Of course it's fantasy, but it's one I'd love to be real in a lot of ways too :-) and on the other hand am glad it's not, because my god, the potential for abuse.

6/11/23, 11:56 PM
@[DaymionMC](/user/show/10033419) Thanks so much for these thoughts! Definitely a risk with adapting RP, that disjoint. Glad that you enjoyed it anyway!
6/11/23, 11:26 PM
@GoJia It's not just some random story; it's a story that appears in the first chapter of the _Zhuangzi_ and is a staple of Zhuangzian de-stabilizing and undermining norms. It seems like you haven't read the source material. @Blazargus Get well soon; it's no fun being in the hospital. The story still continues to move like Westworld, but Westworld definitely had the hosts defying the human control to the point that the tables got flipped and the hosts ended up controlling. So the whole making the AIs subserviant to the Piper is a big letdown in my mind. You definitely could have played the scenarios out in different ways.

6/11/23, 11:51 PM
@[New Guy in Town](/user/show/820450) This 'ending' isn't the absolute ending for the setting. Originally I'd planned on progressing down a path like the one you're suggesting, but having had a rough time writing in recent weeks I decided on this ending for Kevin and Carter. The 'real' final act can happen later with a different main character, when I'm back on my feet (mentally speaking). As far as Kevin and Carter go, they aren't 'heroes'; their focus was on each other, that was their priority. Fighting back and turning the tables became less and less important to them as time progressed. Piper even 'wanted' Kevin to fight back, which complicates things for him. So, while this arc may not end satisfactorily for you, I hope the continuation that follows does.