Recent Comments

6/2/23, 11:02 PM
Nice start! Looking forward to a story with a dominant pov guy. I hopes he's a top too.so him wanting his brother to be better is great, helpful masters are great. So yeah this was great, looking forward to more.

thesaxcat
6/4/23, 6:23 PM
@[Heru Kane](/user/show/56823) Thanks, I enjoy seeing a Master do good things for those they control in these situations.
6/4/23, 5:24 PM
The sign of a good story is when the second read is better than the first . I feel for Matt, his kindness caused him dearly. Will Master give him a second chance and better yet will Matt become the slave trainer he needs to be. As always this is your story to do as you will. As to Jake, there he will be tamed in the end, I have no doubt or won't he?
nycboot
6/4/23, 5:14 PM
A great start! I had no problem switching between 1st and 3rd person or whatever point of view you want to put us through (we are your reading slaves, right? :laughing:). Personally I also love stories where the victim is aware of what's happening and struggles (usually fruitlessless) against the power they will never conquer. Looking forward to more!
6/4/23, 3:26 PM
Love the story but one humiliation you failed to use is the permanent removal of their body hair which would make them feel like kids.
6/4/23, 2:39 PM
I’m both excited to read more and flattered to be an influence!! Keep up the fantastic work!!
6/4/23, 12:54 PM
I really hope you continue writing. This is a great first chapter!
Anonymous
6/4/23, 12:40 PM
hot!!!
6/4/23, 12:30 PM
Another great chapter! Can’t wait to see Ryan, Ethan and Stephen together at last.
6/4/23, 12:22 PM
Thanks, guys, for all the encouragement! Because of the constructive criticism about the confusing nature of POV and time, I'm doing a quick revision to address that issue, and will continue it in future sections. It was always my intent to both provide the omniscient narrative AND take a look inside the helpless brains of the ones being controlled.

Martin
6/4/23, 12:30 PM
@[Millard](/user/show/914224) > It was always my intent to both provide the omniscient narrative AND take a look inside the helpless brains of the ones being controlled. That's actually something I really really appreciate and I'm looking forward to read more about this!
Anonymous
6/4/23, 12:19 PM
hot and so well written transformation!!! looking forward to more...