Recent Comments

6/3/23, 2:00 PM
This was a hot set of sex scenes, and I’m glad Papi got to unload in Thad’s ass after all; Kenneth stealing that cumshot was positively wicked! I also understand why Papi is reconsidering—this situation was incredibly stressful, I’m sure, and no one should have to walk around with a career-destroying secret on their shoulders all the time. I appreciate that he’s seriously thinking about it.

Sebastián Apollo
6/3/23, 10:55 PM
@[Soren Fitz](/user/show/10011670) As always, thank you for the kind words Soren. It's been a tizzy trying to balance the seriousness of the situation with the sex scenes and lightheartedness of it all, so I'm glad some are enjoying all aspects of the story!
6/3/23, 9:54 PM
Personally I like it very much. I love smaller and physically weaker dominants and you described both sides, controlled and controller. To make it more consistent and easier to read, try to keep POV in the same person, I don't mean all the time Garry or whatever but either 3rd pov or 1st pov. There was a switch in-between with pov which was a little confusing but overall great job. Love the story so far and can't wait for more.
Hank
6/3/23, 8:51 PM
You have refined the story … the physical action is much more intense and arousing. You are a wonderfully creative writer with a gift for descriptive prose. Thank you for an explosive read. I hope you continue writing. WBLSO@aol.com
Hank.
6/3/23, 6:35 PM
OMG … this story was incredibly written. You descriptions of the feelings, emotions, and physical fuck were unbelievably intense. Your mind is sensationally creative. You, Sir, are sexy, sensual, and hot! Thank you for these unique stories! (WBLSO@aol.com)
Hank
6/3/23, 5:59 PM
An excellent read. You are a talented writer. I am fascinated by erotic hypnosis and truly wish to submit to a dominate hypnotist. The concept of control is intensely arousing.
6/3/23, 5:49 PM
It's great to see a Chinese writer here. Please keep up the good work.
BCG
6/3/23, 5:17 PM
Like astrologus, i read it the minute is saw it included nipple play. My hands only came off my nipples in order to scroll down. Well done!
5/30/23, 6:45 AM
So given the amount of feedback I’m getting sounds like this was not a popular avenue. So I’m working on a rewrite and will post it here soon. Thanks for your thoughts and opinions everyone. Although a few of you may wanna go ask a trans person how they feel about that particular word. In the states where I’m from it’s a very not okay thing to say to a trans person and just about everyone knows they shouldn’t use it. However given the context of this chapter and how things have been going yes, Skippy did not mean it maliciously it was just the only real word he knew and it slipped out, and this would be an overreaction on Titans part. So. Rewrite incoming soon.

5/30/23, 12:24 PM
@[Alpha Artemis](/user/show/1997819) Thank you for showing such a respect for your readership and our reactions to your work. i appreciate you for hearing us, thank you for taking our concerns for the story seriously, but i wonder if a rewrite is necessary. All characters are able to have flaws. Titan CAN make mistakes, this could be one, this chapter doesn't have to be rewritten, but it can be a showcase that Titan is just as human as anyone and he can show humility and compassion by apologizing and promising to be a better alpha to the whole pack including Skippy next time. You wrote a fantastic chapter that totally flows with what these characters WOULD DO in this situation. i absolutely stand by your original work as you have it posted. even if it makes me upset, i repeat what i said earlier, it just means that you wrote EXCELLENT characters that make us feel real empathy. I once again advocate that This chapter can stand as it does, and we can use it to build bonds between skippy where he sees that Titan, big, strong alpha himself, can be sorry. can apologize. can ask, even beg forgiveness, and be NO LESS a strong alpha for it. Show skippy how to be a better man even when at fault, while gathering him in closer to the pack. You wrote an excellent chapter, and popular or not stories are about strife and overcoming said strife, i believe that you have written an EXCELLENT conflict that these characters can overcome together. and regardless of if it causes setbacks in skippy or not, that is still more obstacles for the characters to overcome, which i see as wonderful. your decision is of course your own, and i will respect it and gleefully welcome any and all chapters you post. i just hope that our feedback hasn't caused you any upset. Thank you for such an amazing story Artemis.

5/30/23, 8:20 PM
@[Alpha Artemis](/user/show/1997819) I completely agree with @[Mind Labyrinth](/user/show/910312). I acknowledge that my reaction is effected by living in a country in which you will never hear this term. Not knowing the full severity of this word have probably made me more forgiving than a reader from an English speaking country, which hurt the idea you were trying to pass. However, Mind Labyrinth had put it excellently. Asking for forgiveness is not weakness and learning so would do great for Skippy. Also, Learning that even Titan is still human might bring them more close together. He won't be the strict, all knowing mastermind anymore. Instead he would be a loving fatherly human being who wants the best for his pack and will do anything for them, which is far greater.

Anonymous
5/31/23, 2:16 AM
@[Mind Labyrinth](/user/show/910312) I agree with your point. @Alpha Artemis I'm sorry if my comments made you feel uncomfortable, I appreciate your vision and creativity, it's what Mind Labyrinth say. I won't say more, in order to not make you feel unconfortable, pal, sorry.

5/31/23, 3:29 AM
@Anonymous O no your fine. I appreciate the feedback. I really do. It’s making me think a lot.

5/31/23, 3:38 AM
@[Alpha Artemis](/user/show/1997819) Eh, Titan went overboard without investigating the situation but people _do_ do that. I'd just roll with it and have Titan cool off a bit, think it over, and apologize for punishing without knowing what the circumstances were. That's what a good parent would do anyway. The bad ones, of course, are always "right" no matter what and their children are gaslit and terrorized into accepting they were at fault no matter what. Obviously Skippy isn't a child but he is being regressed by this family so they'll have to take that into account.

Hazard0707
6/3/23, 5:03 PM
@[amul](/user/show/10003734) I agree. Instead of rewriting just continue with a cool down.
6/3/23, 4:40 PM
Wow! Just found this story. It's incredible. Didn't realize this type of premise would be so hot!! Cannot wait to see what happens next. Thank you Elmara for introducing me to the world of dumb jocks :)
6/2/23, 8:29 PM
An amazingly tender story, which was so unexpected and delightful. Beautifully written. Many thanks.

CasualWanderer82
6/3/23, 8:45 AM
@[fredtaylor](/user/show/988150) Thank you for the feedback. Glad you enjoyed the ride! See you on the next one!