Recent Comments

Oct 10, 2022
Anonymous
10/10/22, 9:25 AM
Spectacular work!!!!!
easdf
10/9/22, 3:44 PM
I know this story takes place before another, but at this point someone should really just shoot Booker dead. He is too evil and too dangerous.

10/10/22, 1:54 AM
@[easdf](/user/show/780823) Actually, this takes place after the events of **Two Tops Make a Bottom** so that's still a possibility XD

easdf
10/10/22, 7:43 AM
@[GoonNoob](/user/show/10004535) Oh, in that case, **OFF WITH HIS HEAD!**
10/10/22, 6:52 AM
You show great talent. The challenge for you is to now create an ongoing series. My preference is a Master a weak straight teen bullied by a group of jocks who he turns into effeminate smooth bottoms. But this is my idea and what ever you choose to write I will support you
10/10/22, 6:34 AM
This chapter is a testament to your writing. I actually had to stop reading at one point because it was so frustrated. Great work as always! This is truly the game of thrones of smut lol
10/10/22, 6:01 AM
I really enjoyed this one! I like how all the men have been reduced to being the creature’s sustenance and how they slowly accepted their fates. I gave it a 5/5 and hopefully you do well in the competiton!
Oct 10, 2022
10/10/22, 5:51 AM
I’m so happy about Peter. ;) I would have been disappointed otherwise. Hot story.
Anonymous
10/10/22, 1:00 AM
One of my favorites that you've done

10/10/22, 4:22 AM
then you'll be real excited when i fix, the ending didn't realize i forgot part of it.
10/9/22, 7:55 AM
As always I do hope there will be a good ending. Especially since Kamay doesn't have the option to even speak and tell the rest of Booker's intervention. Now I'm sad. WHY DOES A SMUT STORY MAKES ME SAD?!

10/9/22, 12:29 PM
@[easdf](/user/show/780823) Your comment definitely encompasses all my thoughts. I wanna be horny and happy not horny and sad :( #justiceforkamay

easdf
10/9/22, 3:43 PM
@[Zi19](/user/show/922060) EXACTLY. The hashtag is amazing BTW.

10/10/22, 2:01 AM
@[easdf](/user/show/780823) #JusticeForKamay

10/10/22, 3:56 AM
@[GoonNoob](/user/show/10004535) #JUSTICEFORKAMAY!!!!!!!!
Evan
10/10/22, 3:20 AM
Fucking Booker. This is an amazing first chapter. I feel so, so bad for the Prince and I hope he is eventually able to convey the situation and be believed. More importantly, before Booker can do too much damage to the tribe or harm the king. How many will recognise him, I wonder and how he will manage to avoid punishment for the theft of so long ago. As conflicted as the bad feelings for our central character and sense of injustice are compared with the hotness of the events and lore of the tribe and jungle. I just LOVE your work. Can't wait for more.
10/9/22, 4:48 AM
The misspellings were a bit offputting. The ending was logical but definitely left me unsatisfied. I can appreciate Luke controlling the situation, but it does darken his character when he makes Scott into a slave and that left a bad taste in my mouth. I generally enjoyed the overall arc of the story and commend you on writing this piece of work. Please keep writing in this vein so I can have something else to study and set up my military/police story writing.

10/9/22, 6:04 AM
@[New Guy in Town](/user/show/820450) Grammer and mechanics are very much a weak spot, so I appreciate you reading through them. I can understand not liking the ending, I knew not everyone would but this was who Luke became as I wrote him and in part it's his fantasy, one he never expected to really happen and the way it did pissed him off. I do plan on writing more, I already have two other military themed stories in progress but it will be some time before either are done.

10/9/22, 5:41 PM
@[sirjocktrainer](/user/show/949652) On the grammar and mechanics point, I would recommend using the Read Aloud function in Microsoft Word to catch some of the odd-sounding sentences and phrases. I know it helps and even though I switched writing programs, I see having Microsoft Word read through the draft helps me a bunch. I think you should've made Luke's inner conflict part of the story. Conflict is really what drives any story and seeing that conflict in Luke would have made the change more understandable and more accessible to the reader. But it's a lesson learned and you yourself understood the choice you made. Again, I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

10/9/22, 8:31 PM
@[New Guy in Town](/user/show/820450) Read Aloud is so slow, but it would likely help. Do you write in something other than Word? Luke was never meant to be the focus of the story, it was always meant to be about Alex be careless and getting caught in his own spell with Scott to be the outside view, Luke was just the other side, it's why his chunks were either smaller or focused on Alex. Not sure which I'll post next but either a one-shot Military Drones story, or the first part of a series about a Seal that ends up making a deal.

10/9/22, 11:56 PM
@[sirjocktrainer](/user/show/949652) I switched to using Scrivener for my stories; I just liked that I could keep all the chapters together and see them grouped all together. Plus liked that there are elements to develop characters and places as well as keep notes. So Word nowadays is where I do my non-fiction writing and Scrivener is where I do my fiction writing. Whatever story you put out next, I'll be looking out for it. If you need someone to proofread the work, feel free to let me know.

10/10/22, 2:50 AM
@[New Guy in Town](/user/show/820450) I'd never heard of Scrivener before, it looks like it build for large scale projects. If I remember I might very well reach out. Thanks.