Recent Comments

Just Some Dude
8/3/22, 3:25 AM
Fuck the happy endings! I like the kinky endings. And let me tell ya: THAT was kinky. I think more people than you would expect prefer it when the heroes end up falling into a life of complete sexual depravity, me being one of them (duh). Looking forward to that epilogue where Booker gets his just deserts 😈😈😈
7/31/22, 7:25 PM
That's not what emotional abuse is. Chris being kind to Charlie but not returning his feelings is not emotional abuse. Chris standing up for Charlie isn't cruel. Chris talking about his girlfriend to his brother isn't some evil act. Charlie comes across as unlikable, entitled, and pretentious. I don't know how or why you tried to vilify the only character being good and kind to the protagonist, but it makes Charlie come across as a horrible person. Please familiarize yourself with concepts of emotional abuse before trying to tackle them. It takes me out of the story to see such a wild mangling of a serious issue in order to set up porn. The writing itself is fine, but the motivations and justification for what Charlie is going to do to Chris is very, very weak.

Hypnoboy
8/3/22, 1:47 AM
Charlie isn’t meant to be a good character. What he’s doing is objectively wrong. If it doesn’t seem like a valid reason to be upset with Chris, it’s because it isn’t. If he seems entitled or morally wrong it’s because he is acting in those ways. @Fattenupmen
8/3/22, 12:08 AM
Great ending! The story picked up quite a lot with Sam being introduced last chapter, and the final take over of boring Harry, extending to the worker Dad and Son and then to villages and more, was perfect. Great job!

8/3/22, 12:12 AM
@Essex Thanks for the kind review! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D
Anonymous
8/2/22, 11:53 PM
wow this got very dark but damn was it super sexy and i love the piss element of it
Jul 3, 2022
8/2/22, 9:08 PM
How many offences do you think it would take before ending up under lock and key in this fine establishment?

8/2/22, 10:59 PM
@AngelSpanker 1 big offence or 69 lil ones ;)
8/2/22, 9:14 PM
Wow! Very interesting and great alternative ending for this story. I really liked the direction you took the story. I liked both endings equally, but for different reasons.
7/31/22, 10:04 AM
This was super hot, the way you described all that happened. I wish I could find someone to illustrate your story perfectly because there's enough description to paint a picture of what's happening. I'm kind of envious of Connor and Jared. What would I do to experience that!?

8/1/22, 7:44 PM
@Anima thanks! I was actually contemplating hiring an artist to show what the Qayllar looked like as I thought it might be hard for readers to imagine but I'm glad I've apparently painted a vivid enough picture for you ;)

8/2/22, 8:37 PM
@Anima yeah I agree, especially the stars in the nipples and the shrunken cock cages would be really hot.
6/24/22, 10:16 PM
Terrific story -- structure was great! Really enjoyed it!

8/2/22, 7:34 PM
@absman420 thank you! I've read and re-read all of your stories so this is quite a compliment.
8/2/22, 7:31 PM
Thank you for all the comments! I didn't want to seem too thirsty during the competition, but they made me feel good. I doubt I'll continue this story seeing as it took so much just to write what's here. Feel free to continue, if you get the inspiration. I tried writing original stories for past competitions but couldn't finish them. By converting one of my fave mcstories stories I was able to see it through. If I start writing original characters, I can always change my name. thank you for reading.
8/2/22, 7:08 PM
Let me be the new skin-slave