@boi98229 I think your perspective is probably not unusual. I have the very same thing, myself - with the exception of some much older stories I wrote (before, I'd say, I was really exposed to 'gay culture' at large), I have only tackled race-based dom/sub dynamics in glancing ways and shied away from really writing pieces that get to the core of how I feel. In my case, I look back and see that I've always been strongly submissive, and also grew up in a world that told me Asians were superior: I was a math/science kid, and it was very clear in my school that Asians were the best at those things. Which is itself a weird racist stereotype, but as a kid I didn't see that nuance, so I just heard it as truth. On top of that, as a kid it was clear to me Japan was the winner when it came to tech and economy; as I grew up, that became China, Korea, and the crown is contested over and shared, variously, but my whole life I've grown under this shadow of "the USA is the old thing; Asia is the new thing, they're winning." I think the things we hear as kids become very deep beliefs that can't really be changed just by intellectually contemplating that maybe they aren't "true" - they stay truths, to us. So, for me, among my deepest fantasies has been to be submissive to Asian men who share my views and see me as inferior because I'm white, and see themselves as fully deserving my worship and service. To your own shame and fear, I share it - I've written some things on here that have gotten comments that they're gross, or inappropriate, or other reactions that bring up shame, and I certainly worry about it with race. I remember when grindr took away the "Ethnicity" filter, and the public outcry was along the lines of, "I'm sorry, they HAD an ETHNICITY filter?!" And for sure, in the gay world, there is quite a lot of racism, and even the most innocent and well-intentioned of preferences can be quite triggering to someone who's experienced chronic discrimination of a less-innocent sort. I'm leaning into my own ingrained attitude about Asians with this series - and got into it a little with that last piece about the restaurant - because I'm trying to treat this site as a "safe space" for exploring really deviant or socially unacceptable kinks. On the restaurant one, indeed, someone reacted with very strong aversion, and my first time reading his comment it brought up a lot of shame and embarrassment in me, but I'm pretty dedicated to sitting with that stuff so I can respond thoughtfully, and indeed, the conversation with him I think ended up being really great. It's not easy, but sexuality is complicated and people are nuanced. I'd encourage you to work on loving all aspects of yourself, including the preferences you have shame around, but also including the shame itself. It's there to keep you safe, even if it's a little misguided. You don't have to believe your shame, but you also don't have to hate it. You can love it like a well-intentioned nuisance of a pet. :) Thanks for your comment!

@AgainstMyWill Oh boy, I am the guy who "reacted with very strong aversion, and my first time reading his comment it brought up a lot of shame and embarrassment in me" - oh that was never my intention and your response was indeed thoughtful and intelligent. It also made me realize I lovelovelove to be dominated by superior Asian or black men. (Interestingly enough, I learned my younger straight male brother loves to be dominated and pegged by his wife, so it runs in the family I guess lol.) Now these stories are beyond brilliant and also having grown up hearing about Japanese and then China's superiority it absolutely has an impact. My neighborhood in Brooklyn is now virtually all Asian, so I see Asian men in ways not portrayed by the media. They are my neighbor, my car mechanic, my grocer, - in fact right now I am in total lust over the young pot-smoking guy who has lived in tight tanktops for about a month now at my local corner store. So I eagerly await your new stories, with the very under-explored Asian dom themes.

@New Guy in Town Chaotic good maybe XD