Recent Comments

Sep
5/21/22, 4:18 AM
Thanks for the input, I went back and correct most of the verb tenses, so I hope it makes more sense.
5/21/22, 3:32 AM
You definitely captured the theme of the contest with this one! I thought it was clever how you used the jocks' comments to reveal the "rules" of the changes. And although I got worried for a sec when Alex asked his last question, it was good to see how Colin reacted and how that changed things. A very interesting method of reality change, using agreement and conformity as part of it! I will say, see if you can get some practice or an editor's help on your use of tenses—you flew around a bunch toward the beginning when you were writing the lead-up. But once the actual scene was going, you used the past tense consistently! You asked how to make it hotter—I don't get off to reality change stories myself, but from what I've heard from friends, reality changes that involve a change to the person are hottest when you describe the change _happening_. Take that with a grain of salt, because sudden realisations can be fun, too. I think bluesuedewho's [_Magic Textbook_](https://www.gaykinkystories.com/series/show/10000971) is a well-loved work, and a standard-setter, in the reality change arena, so you can likely pick up some cues from there for your future writing endeavours. For a first work this shows good promise, and I wish you the best of luck writing more! EDIT: I forgot to add how fucking _clever_ that title is. Genius.
Jamiemboy
5/21/22, 2:34 AM
Hot :) more please!!
5/21/22, 2:17 AM
Damn, this made me unload a bunch of times when I read and re-read it. The dark evil that's presented in a very realistic way is very hot.
5/21/22, 2:07 AM
I enjoy a romance-only story on the site, and I enjoyed the set up for the start of Ryder and Jeremy's burgeoning relationship. Please continue their story!
5/20/22, 11:17 PM
One of the things I really.like about your stories is that the people who get changed into needly little cocksluts tend to deserve it. I hope Carter changes his stats and Rusty ends up getting his comeuppance in the end. That said,.if Carter takes a trip through empty headed jockslut territory before ending up on top, I wouldn't complain.

Anonymous
5/21/22, 1:39 AM
@SageKepler Oooh, "deserve" is an interesting word here! Idk if I think of many of this author's stories through that lens, tbh? Most of the "needy little cocksluts" he writes tend to really _enjoy_ their transformations lol, so I rarely see it as a punishment or a bad thing. Taking away things Carter cares about (like his brain) is a lot more invasive than making him capable of prostate orgasms lol, so I could see the story going a lot of ways! Rusty is annoying but I don't think he needs to end up a sub for the story to have a "happy ending" really
Martin
5/20/22, 8:36 PM
A very lovely story. And so far it doesn't need any MC aspect. I'd actually prefer if Ryder is truthful and was always secretly in love with Jer, Comet or not! Please keep going with this!

5/21/22, 12:24 AM
@Martin i like the idea that the wish just brought their emotions to light rather than manufactured them. There are a couple of stories on this sight with that premise and i always enjoy them
5/20/22, 11:33 AM
Amazing ending! As @Hypnothrill said, I was wondering how the hero would be suddenly reverted to his true self, and this did not disappoint. The explanation as to WHY the town changes people is also great: very sci-fi, and yet terrifyingly plausible. And like the best stories on here, it raises fascinating questions: what does it it mean to be happy? Is getting something that everyone ostensibly likes the secret? And can you truly be happy if your ability to feel other emotions disappear? In short, amazing work! :)

5/20/22, 11:40 AM
@Feed Your Head, thank you for the amazing comment. There were so many things that played into my creative process for this one, and you hit on most of them. The other thing that I thought about as I wrote this is that in the digital age, with Instagram, Pinterest, etc., most people post a version of reality that is a little more perfect than the life they actually experience… what would it be if that illusion became reality but it was nothing more than the illusion itself, without the emotion of living…

5/21/22, 12:05 AM
@Jeep Hooray! I am always so glad when people like my comments. And that’s very true. Curated content is creepy—why do we fear showing how we really feel to the world? And when people do, they are often accused of attention-seeking…maybe it is because there cannot be “raw emotion” in the digital world (you always have to type and arrange and hit “Post”). Your stories are so great at raising questions! :D

5/21/22, 12:15 AM
@Feed Your Head thank you! I hope they are sexy, but I also hope that I tell a good story as well… and a good story should, IMHO, make you think, feel, or both…
5/20/22, 2:45 PM
Definitely got the stepford wives vibe even before the reveal. Nice satire and use of irony, particularly the choice of title which works on so many levels. For those not old enough to know, “shiny happy people” was a cheesy and kind of awful forced upbeat song by REM in the 90s at the height of that bands popularity that some years later was revealed by the bands front man to be a wholly corporate contrived song that was forced on them by a record label and that the band hated.

5/20/22, 2:57 PM
@amul, I chose the title, in part because of the song, good catch! Did the ending meet your expectations? Did you like the use of the AI as an unknowing villain?

5/20/22, 5:03 PM
@Jeep Crap, I had a really long reply typed out on my phone and hit cancel instead of post. I will rewrite it later when I’m at home on a keyboard. Suffice to say I have comments on all you asked about.

5/20/22, 7:06 PM
@amul, I look forward to hearing… and a lot of the time, I will write these stories on my phone and lose who chinks, so I feel your pain, lol!

5/20/22, 9:46 PM
@Jeep Alright! So the general ideas that I wrote out and accidentally shitcanned were these: I thought that the twist of having the "villain" be an AS (artificial stupidity) was brilliant and completely on point. All too often we see these malevolent AIs in fiction and it's like... why? That's not how AI works. That's not our experience with malfunctioning or misbehaving AI. When AI works poorly, we get stupid results not evil ones (although I'll grant that the stupidity is occasionally offensive). So the fact that you made the reveal of who is turning all these men into hot, happy, vapid, latex-loving gays into an AI error was great, I loved it. The Terminator/Matrix/I Have No Mouth style AI villain strains credulity in my opinion, I greatly prefer the sort of AI villain who for reasons completely correct to its own internal logic, causes problems in a dispassionate way as opposed to one who behaves like a classic bad comic book or bond villain. The fact that the main character and the neighbor didn't get together in the end was, I felt, an excellent gay subversion of the Stepford Wives trope. Why would our AS make the newly minted himbo drones behave like straight people, and couple like them, and imitate straight people? Well it wouldn't. So it doesn't. This definitely works as a mild horror story, my only wish was for the latex sex to actually be shown, but I'm not really questioning your narrative choice in that regard. I know writing sex scenes can be kind of a drag.

5/21/22, 12:10 AM
@amul thank you for your thoughts… you definitely have some real insight to my mode and thought process. I, in particular, wanted this whole “perfect “ world to be the creation of an “error” rather than the machinations of some supervillain… as far as sex scenes, yes they are difficult to write in a way that is engaging and fun, you can only write “I filled his hungry hole with my throbbing cock” or “he made me gag with the size of his ramrod…” 😂 Thank you so much for all your responses!
5/20/22, 11:47 PM
VERY Hot story, I loved it the whole way through, I hope there's more coming, I'd love to read what happened to Finn.