Recent Comments

Hot!
4/24/22, 11:22 AM
Loved the end :) !

4/25/22, 9:05 PM
Thanks so much @Hot! Definitely one of my favorite endings I’ve written.
4/25/22, 3:43 PM
What does this Croatian translate into English…Nefre fiksu tiun postajon & Vi koleris pri la dioj since I know nothing of Croatian…..plz translate thx
Will Ryder
4/25/22, 1:11 PM
Unexpected & a very cool cliffhanger ending 2 this chapter 👍📖😇📖👍 I can't wait 2 read what happens next 2 Sam, Alan & Ben 💢👀💢
Anonymous
4/25/22, 5:23 AM
Amazing again! Thank you for continuing this. Can't wait for the last part!

4/25/22, 12:44 PM
@ thanks! Comments like that keep me going!
4/24/22, 4:31 AM
Another great chapter! I especially love the contrasts you draw between the genuine love between Ricky and Will and the various depraved sex scenes (plus I’ve always wondered what it would be like to make love in water). I am also especially pleased with how you depict Wang and Johnny’s relationship: the last chapter went heavy on the pain/pure domination side of things, so it was nice to see a healthier show of a BDSM relationship (even Wang’s term, “Boy,” shows a degree of kindness absent from Harlow). I am still hoping Pete gets a heaping helping of just deserts—he’s seemingly gotten away with all of his terrible traits, ha ha—but I know that whatever you come up with will be amazing. Thanks for a great story! :)

4/25/22, 12:44 PM
@Feed Your Head thank you. With so many characters I want to create different dynamics; genuine romance with W&R, softer BDSM with Wang & Johnny and rougher with Harlow; as both can be enjoyed. In real life, i only support healthy BDSM relationships but in a story I'm willing to stretch reality to allow less than admirable qualities... for now. With Pete, he has his own development as a Dominant to go through to learn how to treat subs, a potential that Wang can see. Oh, and sex in water in real life? Do not recommend... water is not a lubricant XD
4/25/22, 10:22 AM
I appreciate what you're trying to do here, providing backstories on who the men were before they became rubber drones. But Marc's backstory is so depressing, I found it really difficult to get back into a sexy mood when reading the rest of the chapter.

Rub.berized
4/25/22, 10:31 AM
@Hypnothrill I fully agree with you want hence I shortened that part. I was honestly a bit moody and felt like it belonged though to the story to give it a touch of what I would like in a story. I'm not at all a good writer so it's always difficult to find the right tone and balance. I hope you give part 5 a try because from now on I have enough characters that were introduced and can give me a solid framework to continue.

4/25/22, 10:43 AM
@Rub.berized It's so difficult to get that tonal balance right. As a writer, I sometimes find that it's useful to create extra backstory in my head for characters, only a small portion of which makes it onto the page. So it might be important for you as a writer to know precisely what personal trauma makes Marc especially vulnerable to the nefarious doctor's offer, but it isn't so important that your reader know all the details. I've been reading all the chapters so far, and I'll continue to keep reading, but I do have one suggestion for you: keep writing in 3rd person, but consider sticking with a single POV character for each chapter. You keep switching back and forth between how Conrad feels and how his subjects feel. I think this chapter, for instance, would have worked better if it just focused on Marc/CT-12's perspective toward his mental transformation.

Rub.berized
4/25/22, 12:21 PM
@Hypnothrill this is a very good advice. Thank you so much.
Kods
4/25/22, 2:00 AM
Ah that was so good! what a touching way to bring the story to a close.

4/25/22, 9:46 AM
@Kods Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for letting me know. This feedback means a lot.
4/24/22, 11:19 PM
No, I'm not crying. You're crying! Thank you so much for such a wonderful story. I hated the ups and downs but in the end you knew what to do. Thank you, so very much!

4/25/22, 9:45 AM
@Ember I promised a happy ending. I didn't promise it wouldn't make you cry! Glad you enjoyed and thanks so much for the feedback.
Anonymous
4/24/22, 10:09 PM
The ending was amazing, it would be really cool if there was a spin-off. I was curious to know what happened to the bulls, bull walker, nate, stepfather, Jonas,Sam, after the transformation we don't know anything else about them, it would be interesting to see how each one got used to their new reality. :-)

4/25/22, 9:41 AM
@ Thanks glad you enjoyed. I have no real plans at the moment to follow up on this story. If I did I think Liam's father would be where I would go or maybe what happens to Little Brett.
4/25/22, 2:32 AM
I know in the beginning of this whole story a lot of people (myself included) were really unsure about how “traditional” gender roles and appearances were treated. Of course, all of that was in an Albion context. But something I really enjoyed in this chapter was how open and fluid people’s approaches were to their bodies. Liam included, though I think you have weaved in hints towards that for some time. All of it isn’t really something I am personally interested in, but I am really glad that got shown here, especially with characters whom we have seen grow up over several years and experiences. I also definitely get Brett’s…I am not sure if I would call is dysmorphia, but I feel that’s close. It’s something I myself grapple with, however irrational it is. Idk, I guess I am just saying that I really enjoyed how human all of the characters felt. There’s so much depth with them while at the same time you have characterized them in very pointed ways. And I am glad, in the end, basically all of the main characters we have followed had a happy ending. Especially after all they (and we readers!) have been through. —————————————— This is something probably better asked _much_ earlier on, but I am still curious: how exactly are the bulls chosen? I know Brett talked about how some people got higher test scores, but I would have assumed everyone would have known that was the metric being used going in if that was the case. Is it just random sometimes? They are just chosen at the whims and political needs of the Academy? Or are there actually metrics they are measured against such as grades, athletics, level of indoctrination, etc. Sorry if this was already answered in the text, I’m just still a little curious.

4/25/22, 9:37 AM
@Wrangler Thanks for the feedback. I know in the early parts of the story it is hard to not think about the characters in terms of traditional gender roles because that is what we bring to the story. The characters have no real concept of other genders. I know those early parts are brutal and possibly too much maybe a learning process for me. Maybe not. As for the specific question of how the bulls are chosen. Now that is the sixty four thousand dollar question. It is never made explicit in the story and that was a choice. If we can work it out so would anybody else. The story was long enough but the idea was that the academy is more like the old catholic church. It is rich, corrupt, powerful and sets the moral and sexual rules of the society. So while it may appear only the exceptional are chosen, the whole business is quite murky and deliberately so.