Recent Comments

Will Ryder
4/17/22, 5:00 AM
Great set-up 👍😁👍 I 💗 how 😡DOM😡 Sammy has becum. Can't wait 2 see how it plays out in the next chapter 📖
Will Ryder
4/17/22, 3:38 AM
‼️HOLY😇SH *T‼️ Sammy breeding his older bro Eli was: 🔥H🥵T AS F**K🔥 Particularly in the end where he owns him👍 Can't wait 2 read what happens 2 their 🐺Alpha🐺 bro John.
4/17/22, 12:20 AM
I always come back to this story from time to time. I love it so much, one of the best you have <3

4/17/22, 3:37 AM
@Udems aww glad u like it udems, that makes me happy to hear.❤
4/17/22, 3:04 AM
Can't wait for the next one!!!!!!
4/16/22, 8:51 AM
Great story with a lot of possibilities on direction but would definitely include public humiliation.

Rubber_Lover14
4/17/22, 3:03 AM
@OralSub Thank you so much for the comment ^^ i might be able to work some public humiliation into a future chapter, or maybe him being secretly toyed with while he's in public? Who knows. Anyways, Thanks for the comment and suggestion 😁
4/16/22, 11:30 AM
Definitely continue - The possibilities for humiliation in public and amongst all his 'friends' is enormous - also the scope for further transformation and enslavement of these friends is wide.

Rubber_Lover14
4/17/22, 2:48 AM
@SPLRUB thanks for the comment! Seeing how many people seem to have enjoyed it, I might begin a second part some time in the future, after the next part of _A Jocks Karma_
4/17/22, 1:08 AM
I will comment on some good parts and some areas that could be improved. The good: The premise is interesting and compelling. The kinky, domineering benefactor who wants to improve the body of the main character while also taking pleasure in the discomfort and humiliation that he causes is hot. Hottest part of the story. The means of exerting control, by playing on the precarity of the main characters financial situation adds a touch of realism to a premise that would otherwise be strictly fantasy. Controlling the main character by limiting his clothing only to the somewhat kinky and fetishy sportsgear is nice. Very hot. The areas that should be improved: While controlling the main character through clothing is interesting and hot, too much time spent counting singlets or worrying about footwear choices detracts from the story. The idea is hot, the actual execution of how the main character thinks about how he will manage it is not very hot and should be shortened. The reader will figure it out without too much insight into the main character's thought-process here. Masturbation! The only sex so far in the story has been masturbation but it barely received a sentence when it happened. Consider trying to flesh out the main characters horny thoughts, desperation, and describing his moments of release. This is an erotic story after all.
4/17/22, 12:37 AM
I really enjoy all your stories. Thanks so much for sharing them. It was the title to this one that made me do a double take. Shakespears Sister? Or is that just me showing my age...

4/17/22, 12:39 AM
@BadWolf I think so, someone used it in their presentation in class and I became obsessed with the phrase lol
4/17/22, 12:37 AM
I felt like this was a great hook for a story. It's just a prelude and I wasn't expecting much to happen, but it was interesting enough that I'm about to click the "next" button so I think you achieved what you wanted to with this. As for the language, I think you're doing just fine. Yes, it's pretty clear this is not your native language and there is both minor word choice and syntax errors but nothing that made it impossible to follow the action of the story. All you can do is continue to try and improve, there's no easy way to do it.
4/17/22, 12:29 AM
Oh my gosh you have the best ideas! Zidayne is soo hot with that tail and genderbent princesses is way more interesting! Cant wait to see what mechanism you use for genderbending kairi and the others too! I love this story, kaa and jafar were always my fave disney villains.