This was really good! I’m excited to see more of the coach

Great story, please be kind to yourself, we’ll all be here when you get back

You have very good command of English I completely understood the story and there's only a few places here in there that need a little thought as to what you meant. This was a hot story I really enjoyed it thank you for writing!

Wonderful! So lovely and sweet, with just that hint of danger.

Very nice. Hope you continue.

Damn another hot chapter. The drop of sweat being placed on the tip of a cock and causing relentless fucking was hot. But I love stories that transform men to muscular sex crazed beasts by something entering their dicks and then fucking a man to create a slave or drone. Thanks for getting me hard.

I'm gonna take a break for today at the end of this one (but bookmarked and tbc). Yeah. In a lot of ways, we're in similar boats. It's not dirty enough to be porn _really_ it's more, "cutesy fanfic which depicts the sex when sex happens, which is not that often." It's very easy to score this series punitively because of the ratings as categorized. If this were an alternate reality where "cutesy" "silly" "playful" were categories, this saga would be hitting 5's like they were going out of business. It's a nicely written work, that is off-brand for GSS (and this is a concept I'm very familiar with :sweat_smile:) So it will always have *that* battle, and it's a battle I can relate to. I would say this ought to at the very least be also released on Cupid, like, immediately. Cupid at least vaguely has a "love-heart-y" looking category that's just begging to be set to 5/5 for a series like this. If not even "romantic" per se, the series is very clearly "lovely in every way, and almost excessively so", whereas here on GSS I'm leaving the 'Mind Control' category blank and scoring as high as I can in other places, but finding scant excuses to give more then 3's, 3.5's, 4's (for lack of suitability). The series is bizarre and lovely and charming despite what is justifiably mediocre ratings. Mediocre rating as a consequence to the situation it exists in, not because it is in _actuality_ a mediocre piece of work (I hope that is very clear to you, because if it's not, it should be); far from it, and kudos to you for working through it in context of how it was always going to be received here, and delivering something *this* good anyways. How... delightful (so far anyways), and I didn't even need to know Pokémon stuff to enjoy it; I can just 'Are ya Winning Son' Dad my way through the Poké-jargon, like one does with Star Trek when the warp drive manifolds fails to realign. Bookmark booked, tbc.

A good escalation of events. will keep reading.

Not a bad opening chapter, mate. I don't normally read fanfiction, so I won't be ruthlessly critiquing this! However, I am happy to see enough of your own creative voice in it; it doesn't seem to _just_ be 'Pokémon + fucking'. So far, this reads like something that should also be published on Cupid.

Impeccable pacing, hot discovery, mysterious mind-addling, and some exciting opportunities for more—nailed it again. But if that increasingly huge dick doesn’t get productive enough for cum inflation after a few chapters I’ll have some words…