Recent Comments

fry
4/11/22, 3:52 AM
Might there be a future as bottom boy and cum dump for the team?
Evan
4/11/22, 12:52 AM
Some explanations and a path forward. QUITE a development. I'm really loving this series. The worldbuilding and the progression of our two protagonists. Looking forward to more. Thanks for writing!

4/11/22, 2:57 AM
@Evan Thank you! I’m enjoying writing. When I started I thought I’d get to the fucking a lot faster, but I’ve been enjoying setting the tone and sacred sexuality story elements. The mind control elements are more subtle than I originally planned, but I like it being sort of ambiguous about what’s a character’s choice and what’s supernatural influence. Hoping it still fits the theme well enough for guys to get off to.
Evan
4/10/22, 11:32 PM
This was such a delightful romp. The contrast between perspectives is so incredible. There's a callousness to Coins and a frivolousness that the rest of society would see so it makes perfect sense. But how fascinating to see the assumed intentions and confirmation bias. Nova sees the party as domineering, degrading, and solely about ownership and sex for their own pleasure. But the reality was about friendliness, bonding, and welcoming and giving Jasper pleasure as well. Exactly the same acts and setup but two different views of it based on the cultures and social situations. This sort of thing is so realistic, and really highlights there is a culture underlying all of this and not just a flimsy excuse for an orgy (not that there's anything wrong with that, but this makes it a part of the world). I was really invested in Callix and Rhys reconciling and the understandable scuffle with Jasper made my stomach drop. Very well played. Not a smooth ride but they did get to talk after when everyone was cooler-headed. Some great dynamics here, too. The various ways favours were granted allowing for everyone at the party to enjoy it. I also really enjoy the casual and natural way sex is understood for Coins. Literally getting a blowjob while having a conversation to calm down from a disagreement. Freely enjoying one another in plain sight of everyone else and it being entirely unremarkable. Incorporating the maze to allow for hiding and favours is such a neat game. And making it a copy of the streets to give Jasper the advantage was pure genius. Both from Aris and Rhys's point of view and also as writers. What a cool element. And he really showed them he was cunning and if they caught him for a favour it was because the god Aphrodite wanted to extend such generosity. Quite a lot of dynamics being played with in this chapter. Including Jasper being a top and even a dom on occasion. He's a versatile little switch. And it seems like Rhys is pleased by this also. So much good stuff, I don't want to go on too long. See you next chapter.

Cuddle-switch
4/11/22, 1:52 AM
@Evan I'm happy to see how you realized that this was actually a supportive and friendly party, and it was only Nova's cultural lens and concern for his friend that made him think otherwise. It was very important to us that things *not* go perfectly for Rhys and Jasper here, especially with Calix (for reasons that will become obvious). I'm proud how we managed how everyone was feeling and thinking as they left. I agree that having the maze set up to give Jasper the advantage was a stroke of genius by time.to.occur to let Jasper pick and choose what happened and who he would be with. Since Coins put a lot of thought and care into layers of meaning, it makes me smile to think of how, a few days later, some Coins will start to realize that Jasper had a lot of control over them, and he *chose* to play with them.

4/11/22, 2:04 AM
@Evan One of the parts that was the most fun for us while we were writing this was figuring out a legend that would suit the party and then spinning up the rules and cultural layers to it. I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter! It's one of our favourites and (probably because it wound up being way longer than we thought to establish everything that needed establishing), it's not one we've gotten a lot of feedback on. Cuddle-switch has covered a lot of what I'd have said, but I'm glad that some of the nicer aspects of Coin society are coming through in this chapter. For better or worse, they're both ultra rich and still pretty human. I don't think I can claim credit for the maze idea, exactly, or at the least, one of the things that usually happens for me with jointly written things is that eventually I forget who came up with what, but hey, I'm happy that it works! Totally understand having limited time to comment, but honestly, you're just fueling us -- write as many comments as you like! <3
Muscle-Flex
4/11/22, 12:14 AM
Whew! This chapter was the best one yet. I can tell you had fun with it. The way you describe the scene, lots of hot details, and the interaction between Markus and Doc Adam, was excellent. I love how Markus keeps going deeper and deeper into a trap and suspects that maybe something is wrong, but it’s all just so confusing… and stimulating! The way Doc Adam is slowly and carefully training him – the musky pheromones, the itchy lube, pleasurable stretching of his hole, the cunning development of his nipples, turning them into control buttons basically, the leather bondage that Markus can’t help flexing against with his big muscles, and, of course, the throbbing and dripping, not to mention the Doc’s whispered words in his ears (that pesky sound of waves, ha ha ha)… the buff jock will soon find his own body working against him. Next time he is on the internet, he better look up “muscle slave” because that’s his destiny, whether he wants it or not (if he can still read)! Heh heh. I guess the Doctor was in the market for a big macho stud boy he could make his own. Did Markus’s coach send him to Doc Adam knowing what was going to happen? Is he in on it? Or is he clueless? As for the other guys, I’d go with Sam since he seems to have a bit of a smart-mouth rivalry with Marcus. Opportunities for Sam humiliating Markus before he himself gets put on the slippery slide to a life of lifting and service. I wonder if Darrah might be more on the side of the doctor (if he knew what was going on)? He seems the type that might relish being able to exercise control over Markus. And then there is the Coach. Maybe he will start to wonder what is going on with his star player? A little investigation might be in order. No doubt Coach, used to having his orders followed, can't imagine anyone getting the best of him. But if his curiosity about the doctor peaks while he's at the gym and he decides to have a snoop around the doctor's office late at night without bothering to change out of his sweaty gear, he may find himself more vulnerable than he thinks! Can’t wait for Part 4.

Rubber_Lover14
4/11/22, 12:47 AM
@Muscle-Flex Thank you so much for such a detailed comment. It really was fun righting this one. I wont spoil anything, but it would be fun to involve the coach or Darrah. Personally, i'm up in the air on who to involve. But i will involve someone. Maybe they work with the doctor, or fight with him over control of Mark, either way, its going to be kinky. Who knows what will happen to our group of sexy, sweaty, meat headed jocks. I dont evem know XD. These are mainly written on whims. Either way, thanks for the feedback. I cant wait to start writing the next part.
4/11/22, 12:45 AM
Interesting turn of events! Cannot wait for more!
4/11/22, 12:30 AM
Great story. Thank you
Apr 9, 2022
4/10/22, 11:18 PM
That said they did have a couple in the reboot of Stepford Wives but then again that was more turning then into robots rather then mind control. Plus if they're going for an old fashion esstetic then break up a couple and turning one into a house boy isn't a bad idea. They had a 2 bedroom house and wasn't married so easy to do. Sure he seems nice and welcomes them as a married couple and everyone feels they would have accepted them. However that could be an act to. I feel it works either way where they turn them straight and one is a house boy or if you turn them into an old fashion vintage couple.
Apr 9, 2022
4/10/22, 5:22 PM
It was not bad but things seemed to advanced rather quickly. It went they arrive get a welcome gift early evening. Freddy sprays it and suddenly changes. However Mike doesn't notice until the following day and is shocked. He also doesn't feel like he needed brainwashed as he seemed to like the old fashion style and looked the part when requested. However William acts like he's resistant when in fact he's not. It was a commission but feels it could be a little more flushed out.

4/10/22, 5:28 PM
@nerdysuitedbaby Good points and thanks for the feedback. I might revisit the story and flush it out more when I have the time. I'm planning out a preppification series for my SubscribeStar account, I'll make sure it isn't as rushed as this one seems.

4/10/22, 11:13 PM
@Hyp-fet I know can't wait to join. See you soon pal.
Apr 9, 2022
4/10/22, 3:36 AM
I definitely like the whole Stepford vibe of the story; it did remind me of _Them_ on Amazon a bit. I agree with Entraced Gay that Fredrick's turn was a bit abrupt and Michael being made into a houseboy seems out of place with the Stepford, especially as in the Nicole Kidman version of the movie they did have a gay couple and the partner was made into a Stepford spouse.

4/10/22, 4:40 AM
@New Guy in Town Yeah, I know it’s aburpt, this was actually a commission I did for someone and the maximum word count was 3,000 so I didn’t want to go over it by too much.

4/10/22, 11:09 PM
@Hyp-fet Thanks for explaining that; yeah the limit forced your hand. But in general, you did a good job.
4/10/22, 3:29 PM
How did I miss this story? What a fantastic idea. Please tell me that you will continue the story.

4/10/22, 8:14 PM
@Papa Werebear glad you found it and liked it! Yeah, there's more of Mike and Bruno in the Belfort Club series. Though they are minor characters in that one. It's told more from the perspective of a client enjoying the virtual realm they exist in.

4/10/22, 9:02 PM
@MostlySalt Nice thanks for that I will go check thoset stories out!

4/10/22, 10:43 PM
@Papa Werebear went back and re-read it to be sure. And, no those guys are not even mentioned in the stories that follow... Sorry :)