Recent Comments

2/2/22, 8:07 AM
Oh, surely you're going to continue with this, pleeeease?
SlutForHypno
2/2/22, 3:33 AM
Woot Woot! The big bad has been taken down Hooray! You might be surprised to find he's not quite what you expected. All will be revealed next chapter, but I made him out to be a victim of the masters similar to everyone else. This chapter was very melodramatic, but it was a the penultimate chapter and I found it kinda neat to tie everything together. Next chapter won't be coming out for at least a week unfortunately seeing as I just wont have time to write in the near future. But I am very excited for it and it will have have plenty of Sex haha. Some of you may have already figured out some of the twists since I'm not very subtle and a lot of it is going in very obvious places haha. But I have enjoyed writing the series all the same. It made me realize I want to write more. Next Chapter: The Finale. Luke Makes a fated decision.
Anonymous
2/2/22, 3:10 AM
The story has a very strong romantic element for sure. The love between Shelby and Dickon feels forbidden, and theres certainly a feeling of hope when you get to the ending. i admit the style took a second to get used to. But there is great care taken to write a very technically sound story. Writing is far and away the most important category for me, and you did an excellent job on that front.

2/2/22, 3:25 AM
Thanks! This one went through a lot of revision before I hit publish. Glad you enjoyed :)
Anonymous
2/2/22, 2:48 AM
So hot!! I'm loving it!!!!
2/2/22, 1:15 AM
loved it!
Evan
2/1/22, 10:57 PM
A fun concept and a sneaky way to get the change started with the pillowcase. I'd recommend some formatting to make your story friendlier to the reader. A large paragraph to start can be daunting. Also, look at the structure of dialogue in narrative writing. Whenever you switch speakers, make a new paragraph. The same block of text should not have two people saying words. This makes it clear the speaker has changed so the reader can follow. It also helps pacing slightly with not everything feeling like it's happening at once. A good resource: https://www.ursinus.edu/live/files/1158-formatting-dialogue Mainly the "Changing Paragraphs" section. But it is all helpful. Keep writing! I look forward to your next chapter.
2/1/22, 9:44 PM
As someone who's been hypnotizing himself slowly over months to become a dumb cocky redneck jock, I really appreciate the slow burn detail, and how he can't smell the musk through his pillow but it affects him anyway. Reminds me of how sometimes a flash of hypnosis will just flash through my brain and be gone before I can recognize it. Hot!!!
Anonymous
2/1/22, 9:25 PM
Off to a good start so far, the concept is a hot one. Can't wait to see what's coming next!
Zac
2/1/22, 9:02 PM
Damn, this made me hard. Looking forward to the next chapter!
2/1/22, 6:24 PM
This is a nice setup for sure! Looking forward to the next part. Just one thing, you seemed to have repeated quite a few times the same part, e.g. "Alright dude I’m gonna go shower and maybe grab some food. You want anything?”

2/1/22, 6:36 PM
@Rroot aha thanks! And damn. I didn't catch that it was like 3 am lol

2/1/22, 8:47 PM
@Maxisbored no worries man! Just keep going, this is off to a great start!