Recent Comments

SlutForHypno
1/20/22, 6:07 AM
Hopefully this chapter isn't too long haha. I at the very least feel like it was better paced. That said it seems Like Luke got a hint at his true calling. But I bet the boi still won't accept this truth. Next Chapter; Luke tries to fight destiny with what he believes is an easy older brother
1/20/22, 6:03 AM
Loving this! Keep up the great work. Spencer is a great addition to the story.
May 24, 2019
1/20/22, 5:00 AM
Too rushed. Too undeveloped to allow for willing suspension of disbelief, even in the context of a short story. Gives the impression of--how many?-- a couple of hundred erotic clichés and dog whistles. It's almost always better to allow the characters to show their feelings and thoughts, and then describe their behavior and environment. The listing of abstract stimuli just isn't effective. It was a good preliminary or beginning effort, though, and I was impressed by the author's ability to plan and sustain a narrative from plan to beginning to middle to end. It makes a good outline, it really does. With patient and thoughtful "fleshing out", then ruthless editing, it might well serve as a good first draft fora an aspiring professional-level writer. Learn your craft. It will pay off. And remember: while erotic creative writing might involve masturbation as a source of inspiration, there's a lot more to erotic writing than jacking off no matter how pleasant that might be.
1/20/22, 1:32 AM
Awesome! Lets see what happens next :3 Btw I loved the feet parts <3
1/20/22, 1:26 AM
Well, I tried to pace myself, but couldn't. Read all three chapters of this story almost without pause. Great story! Loved every bit of it. I realize that part of what was so great about it is your humor -- I really love the combination of humor and eroticism. I seem to remember other stories of yours were much more somber and dark. But this one (IMO) is just perfect and hope you will keep adding to it. Love the unintentional exhibitionism (especially of Joe and Frank) and look forward to the fulfillment of the ass action promised for Frank. Thanks for writing/posting this story -- it's made me very happy.
1/20/22, 1:12 AM
Great first chapter! Can't wait to read more. I think i want to be a bunny
1/16/22, 7:28 AM
Hot start to finish. I loved it didn't find it sinister at all.

1/19/22, 11:50 PM
I started the story not knowing where it would take me @Papa Werebear but I am glad that you liked it!
1/16/22, 1:40 AM
balding and scent play, absolutely perfect combo. Thanks for this

1/19/22, 11:44 PM
Thanks for the great feedback @BigMetalHusband All useful for a possible second chapter.
Jonathan
1/19/22, 11:40 PM
there are a total of 8 posted - were you not able to get into all of them?
1/19/22, 11:37 PM
Second chapter was as hot as the first. Loved it! Great idea to have a gay frat and the Hardys in togas/briefs -- hands all over. Glad you're still keeping them (sort of) naive. They were born to be taken advantage of.