Recent Comments

Jan 19, 2022
pisslave
1/20/22, 10:30 AM
thank You, Boss, for that story. Something new. Prefer though the "bringing down" stuff.
1/17/22, 12:25 AM
Peace, would you consider writing Nation of Islam (NOI) content? Since they seem to fit the brainwashing/indoctrination narrative, pretty hot tbh lol. Here's a pic as demonstration: https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/751211129748848680/932349741071736862/681007_TMNZ4krb.png

1/20/22, 8:48 AM
@Wasp I'm interested. Please give me a few more details of what you'd like. mgreene70@yahoo.com
Anonymous
1/20/22, 7:25 AM
this story is amazing. i would love another chapter, possibly a time skip to show scott completely broken and obedient.
Evan
1/20/22, 6:49 AM
I'm getting a lot of enjoyment from waiting for Luke to succumb. And the fun ways he falls into hypnosis despite trying not to. The story is great. I did an edit to split up the dialogue and some minor spelling/grammar fixes for anyone reading after this but it did weird indent stuff so sorry if I broke your formatting. The content is really good. I find myself really wanting Luke to succumb but I love the slow, gradual fall and teasing you are doing. I really enjoyed how he has already been changed, having always thought of himself as a boi before he got there as well as after. Eager for more oblivious changes while he thinks he's totally aware and sort of in control. Very keen to see more.
Martin
1/19/22, 9:12 PM
You're getting better and better. I can't believe how much I enjoyed this chapter. The build up was great, and you start to want Luke to finally lose it and cross the line forever. But you make us wait... which is just such a pleasurable pain we have to endure!

hypnoslut
1/20/22, 6:12 AM
@Martin Thanks, I was genuinely worried that this chapter was too slow or boring. It's good to know I can get a bit creative with the story. It honestly makes it more enjoyable for me then just directing the sex stuff constantly. As for Luke....Hes a very stubborn boi. He can struggle all he wants but he cant outrun his destiny forever.
SlutForHypno
1/20/22, 6:07 AM
Hopefully this chapter isn't too long haha. I at the very least feel like it was better paced. That said it seems Like Luke got a hint at his true calling. But I bet the boi still won't accept this truth. Next Chapter; Luke tries to fight destiny with what he believes is an easy older brother
1/20/22, 6:03 AM
Loving this! Keep up the great work. Spencer is a great addition to the story.
May 24, 2019
1/20/22, 5:00 AM
Too rushed. Too undeveloped to allow for willing suspension of disbelief, even in the context of a short story. Gives the impression of--how many?-- a couple of hundred erotic clichés and dog whistles. It's almost always better to allow the characters to show their feelings and thoughts, and then describe their behavior and environment. The listing of abstract stimuli just isn't effective. It was a good preliminary or beginning effort, though, and I was impressed by the author's ability to plan and sustain a narrative from plan to beginning to middle to end. It makes a good outline, it really does. With patient and thoughtful "fleshing out", then ruthless editing, it might well serve as a good first draft fora an aspiring professional-level writer. Learn your craft. It will pay off. And remember: while erotic creative writing might involve masturbation as a source of inspiration, there's a lot more to erotic writing than jacking off no matter how pleasant that might be.
1/20/22, 1:32 AM
Awesome! Lets see what happens next :3 Btw I loved the feet parts <3
1/20/22, 1:26 AM
Well, I tried to pace myself, but couldn't. Read all three chapters of this story almost without pause. Great story! Loved every bit of it. I realize that part of what was so great about it is your humor -- I really love the combination of humor and eroticism. I seem to remember other stories of yours were much more somber and dark. But this one (IMO) is just perfect and hope you will keep adding to it. Love the unintentional exhibitionism (especially of Joe and Frank) and look forward to the fulfillment of the ass action promised for Frank. Thanks for writing/posting this story -- it's made me very happy.