Recent Comments

Nov 30, 2021
Anonymous
12/2/21, 12:09 PM
have you ever consider to try a curious idea? LET EVERY AUTHOR WRITE WHATEVER THEY WANT. No one is forced to read this story or any subject you dont like.

12/11/21, 1:01 PM
Oh, I reckon people do have the right to be upset about the subject matter here. I hardly agree with them, as this is just a poorly written porn fantasy, written for purposes of catharsis, which doesn't actively serve to promote racism and discrimination. I just hope in future to avoid that by making it even more clear that the racist, kidnapping, brainwashing company is, in fact, evil, and that they are morally in the wrong - I worry that anger my be caused if I convey at any point that I agree with any thing Mon.Co.
Nov 30, 2021
12/1/21, 2:13 AM
Really enjoyed the story! Looking forward more with "mon.co", even though I'm sure I'll read this one plenty more. Some others seem to not like that you mentioned they were all black, but I'd wouldn't mind it if you took this to a more racial power dynamic/domination direction, but if not, I'm sure I'd enjoy whatever else you had planned. Hope to see more from you in the future! Also, to those worried about the racial element of this story: this is a *fantasy* story about a company with basically no morals that *brainwashes guys* and you're concerned about intra-racial racism? *Seriously?*

12/11/21, 12:53 PM
@zakk Yeah, I'm planning to rewrite/make a second chapter (with a slightly greater focus on the racial aspect, and generally just better writeen), and in doing so make sure the company is very clearly in the morally wrong - which should be obvious considering their actions. But regardless, I fully accept that people are going to be upset by the racial element, and rightfully so. It's a reasonable thing to get upset over, and I really do wish to convey that I disagree with and am disgusted by discrimination, however am here fetishising for purposes of catharsis.
Nov 30, 2021
11/30/21, 2:16 PM
I like the premise, but for me, the story is a little too fast-paced. Matt's mental transformation is almost instantaneous, and to me, it would be a lot hotter if he gradually got addicted to the game and corrupted by it.

12/11/21, 12:48 PM
@Hypnothrill Oh, surprised to see you here, haha. Been a big fan of your stuff for quite a while. The story was mostly me just fleshing out a fantasy I had a little, and was written in half an hour, so my own zeal lead to the fast pace. I'm considering doing a second chapter, or just rewriting this one, so its less "Ok be monke now" and more gradual.
12/11/21, 7:16 AM
It's a bit of a mindfuck that this mimbo muscle whore still has brains enough to write so eloquently in his personal logs. lol That was a great epilogue. Although, nowadays, a cop kneeling on a perp's neck has different connotations compared to 2005 when you wrote this.

12/11/21, 11:08 AM
@PEN15LUVR That didn't stop anyone from complaining about it. Yes, i wrote it 15 years ago but it has triggered quite a number of people. That's a shame -- it's just fiction.
12/11/21, 7:45 AM
Great story! Love the point of view from the genie.
12/11/21, 7:42 AM
God this is so great. I am loving every chapter of these
12/11/21, 6:38 AM
OMG that's only Chapter One! Hot hot hot! And also, because I'm a perfectionist, in describing how the cop walked back to your car, it should be a confident gait, not gate. Unless he's corralling otters in his pants, then who am I to judge?
Anonymous
12/11/21, 6:13 AM
interesting idea, but not far left to go. Matthew's mind is gone, as is the resistance . i enjoy the fight or struggle more. Others will probably find later chapters with him enslaved better. But not me. good luck
12/11/21, 4:07 AM
I screamed at the "massive touch screen" of his iPhone4. I feel so old, God...
12/11/21, 2:29 AM
Do you have anything on Kindle?

12/11/21, 2:53 AM
@THAT Steve nope, i dont think they take my kind of stories.

12/11/21, 3:03 AM
@Jack Parker Kyle Cicero has a bunch I've found