Recent Comments

12/3/21, 12:00 AM
Terrific story and idea, I love these scenarios. I do think you're falling into a trap that I also fall into and that's using overtly purple descriptors when simple ones would do. Calling an ass "bountiful" or the tip of a cock the "precipice" can work with the right framing, but when these $10 words get used too much it makes the writing sound overwrought. At its worst it can make a story exhausting to read. I can tell you want your images to be descriptive, but be selective of where you place emphasis and those special moments will stand out even more.

Adonis
12/3/21, 2:37 AM
@ThisisDiz I know exactly what you mean. My brain just hates seeing the same words over and over again. I have to find some kind of alternative version. I'll try to focus it more to just erotic scenes.

12/3/21, 3:33 AM
@Adonis I totally understand. Reusing the same adjectives and verbs is something that gets hammered into us as bad writing. Trouble is that we overcorrect and it sounds like we're writing out every synonym for words like "said", "large", or "climax" that could be found in a thesaurus.
12/3/21, 2:48 AM
I have very much been looking forward to the next chapter of this story and it didn't disappoint.
12/3/21, 2:45 AM
It was so nice to read! I kinda knew he would end up with his friend. :)
12/3/21, 2:22 AM
https://twitter.com/NYUfratguy/status/1454115894070808582?s=20
12/2/21, 11:49 PM
Very good job, your writing is improving incredibly quickly. Top-notch work on this one.

12/3/21, 12:51 AM
@amul thanks :) i was worried the pacing would be weird ahaha
12/2/21, 12:03 PM
Enjoyed the slow burn on this. One small nit: masseuse is the feminine form of masseur

12/3/21, 12:50 AM
@Morph lmao good catch. can't keep up with the french language and all its gendered words ahaha
Apr 10, 2012
12/3/21, 12:49 AM
This was really fun. It was hilarious how the person who created the virus got hypnotized himself by his formula. :)
12/2/21, 12:51 PM
God the foot fetish scenes with the brothers and Dad get better and better with each read. And Dan cucking Nate is the cherry on top 10 out of 10!

12/2/21, 9:29 PM
@James Heller "With each read" - you've already read it multiple times? :O thank you so much for your feedback, it was so fun to write so i'm so happy you like it!

12/3/21, 12:38 AM
@FKH19 oh course I did! it's a brilliant and sexy story!
Will Topping
12/3/21, 12:21 AM
Love this! Hot premise and incredibly well written. Can't wait to read more!
12/2/21, 10:37 PM
Holy shit dude I didn't see that coming. Great work!

12/3/21, 12:12 AM
@Dace thanks man!