Recent Comments

11/18/21, 5:42 PM
This is great! I had memories of the original reading some parts, the characters are all interesting and the build-up is unpecable! Could you please add the name of the POV characters? They were time I had no idea who was thinking what before several paragraphs. Was a bit confusing.

11/18/21, 8:02 PM
@BobbyBlobfish agreed

11/18/21, 10:57 PM
@BobbyBlobfish Yeah, this chapter has been done for a while. I actually forgot I hadn't put it up here, and gave myself a small heart attack when I came to see how it was doing and couldn't find it. I was afraid someone was going to say that. I was trying to have the last line before the POV switch direct the reader to who was going to be next instead of breaking the pace of the story with "(Character) POV"s everywhere. Were their specific transitions that caused confusion, or did the idea just not work at all?

11/20/21, 9:14 PM
@BobbyBlobfish @darkblade2814 I made an edit to hopefully clear up the POV switches. I'd be grateful if you guys could go through this chapter again to see if the transitions are better now.

11/21/21, 2:09 PM
@Johntheedoe Sorry I took so long to answer. For some, it was easy to figure out who it was, but for exemple, the first switch was about the football team. Without precising who amongst the football team we were following. The fact that there is such a huge cast mean it's really easy to lose track of who's who and where. Thanks for the small edits! Really helps to no end. =)
11/21/21, 1:49 PM
Wow... must be a pretty powerful fruit punch... Can't wait to read more of it...
11/21/21, 1:00 PM
WOW!! I love this first part of the story! Many interesting hints that make my fantasy go crazy...

Dylan
11/21/21, 1:20 PM
@ChrisGER Thk you sir! I hope you will like and comment the events in the next chapters as well ! Dylan
11/21/21, 1:08 PM
Curiouser and curiouser! I'm liking where this is going!
Anonymous
11/21/21, 10:13 AM
Nice and Hot, can't wait to see Jeremy getting a Jock Harem
11/21/21, 4:36 AM
Very excited to see the next installment of this! Well done, man!

11/21/21, 9:31 AM
@Dace Thanks!
11/21/21, 7:58 AM
interesting scenario! Curious to see where it leads
11/21/21, 7:44 AM
ahh dude great story i really loved the foot worship in part one
11/21/21, 7:36 AM
hot. Does Jeremy actually love Henry?
Gasuda
11/21/21, 5:31 AM
What a stunning reversal! The merging was hot, and Whit is finally, *finally* getting some of what he deserves. I can't wait to read more!

11/21/21, 7:14 AM
@Gasuda Thanks for your comment I've got almost 1,000 views on this chapter and you're the first to say anything, thank you! Feedback is always encouraged and I'm glad you're enjoying this. Whit is getting what he deserves, he could have taken the first deal but he was greedy. Oh well!