Recent Comments

Oct 30, 2021
Anonymous
10/31/21, 11:29 PM
The only thing i want to say: this is much better than the original. Makes me wish it was the official version!!!
leonardo
10/31/21, 11:29 PM
'Nice to read this story. Two perspectives often are interesting to read. I can fully understand Jess' motives and actions. Chris' immense turnaround remains somewhat up in the air for me. Especially since he becomes a cash fag overnight as well. This can all be explained by the drug that almost casually disappears into Chris' glass. But it feels a bit artificial so I would like to know more about that. The story is so strong that it craves a more elaborate tale.
10/31/21, 3:12 PM
I like the concept of a streaming series that causes orc tf and transmutation. That is an interesting concept and there were several strong moments in the story description of events. Having Dash and Lucius confronted by a big orc in their room and his musky pits transmuting them is a great idea. Several strong moments were here but I do think the story rushed to get there. Differences of style and preference when it comes to these types of stories obviously. As this story was set as a community series that others can add to I do think a little more set up and world building would be beneficial here for those who want to add to the concept. I would have enjoyed perhaps a little more time with Dash and Lucius talking about the show (perhaps a moment where they talk about the show and whats grabbing them?) Or from reading the comments here note that they are already getting a little more orc like (not fitting in clothing like they used to, stronger body odor, a greenish tint to skin etc.). I'm not saying the orc wizard needs to have a monologue describing his motivations and plans just a little more backstory for others to latch onto. If I was writing the concept I would have likely had them sit down to watch the show, talk about what they like, mention a neighbor got them on to it, they start the show but at the point where the knight turns around to see the orc behind him they have to pause the episode because someone comes through the door of their place. the neighbor now a full orc exposes them to his pits and the three orcs sit down to watch the show crammed onto the couch fondling each other. Then they start the episode up again and the wizard talks about how he has come to this world and will be making some changes.

10/31/21, 5:15 PM
@PiperPine mmmm... You do make a good point. I was going for more of a short and quick story. To be honest with you I put on community mode on a whim and I also made the story after I realize that I couldn't complete my original series that I was planning for Orctober. It seems like you may have idea for your own story here. I guess the lack of lore is its own double edge sword. Then again this is my first story that I allowed the community to make their own chapters in.

10/31/21, 5:28 PM
@Big-Zargo 12 Orctober is indeed a great time of the year and I'm glad you did something for it. I admit I did write a story similar to this years ago in basic concept (Orc wizard comes to modern day human earth and starts to turn humans into orcs in various ways) though the execution was different. I didn't do more then the first chapter of it though, I can relate to running out of time and steam. Again it is a good quick story and I think you had some good ideas. Just giving an opinion. Good luck with your next bit of writing.

10/31/21, 11:20 PM
@PiperPine Thanks for the words of encouragement. If you feel like going back your own orc story, fill free to place it here, or start your own series good luck.

10/31/21, 11:26 PM
@Big-Zargo 12 ah it isn't hypno as much as it is reality alteration. I posted it up where it belongs https://www.furaffinity.net/view/33041060/ maybe one day I'll add to it if I think of any good ideas.
10/31/21, 10:39 PM
Ohboy, more Mariposa adventures! I love these stories. Looks like this Autumn batch has monstrous effects--we have a ghost/Invisible Man (Nigel), a Swamp Thing (Lance), a werewolf (Clay), and possibly a vampire (Randall). Let's see what happens next! As always, you do a great job painting these characters and their world--which makes sense, since you need a firm foundation if you're going to totally transform. Here we go!
10/31/21, 9:11 PM
Wow! That classroom scene might be the hottest part you've written yet!
Anonymous
10/31/21, 9:04 PM
This story is fantastic! Can't wait to see what happens next with Carl & Matt!
10/31/21, 8:21 PM
I've loved your other Mariposa stories sooooo much. Really excited to watch this one unfold
Anonymous
10/31/21, 6:47 PM
This was hot!! Can't wait for the next one
10/31/21, 6:10 PM
Gentle seems like more fun.
10/31/21, 7:47 AM
I know this isnt usually your style, but im hoping Matt gets fixed. I feel too bad for Matt now

Gasuda
10/31/21, 11:03 AM
@HughTF I'm hoping he and Carl split the difference and end up somewhere between man and pig by the end.

10/31/21, 3:46 PM
@Gasuda or maybe the roles can reverse. I know its just gainer fic, but that could've been foreshadowed by Matt saying "you deserve to be like this." but maybe that's just me. If I'm being honest, at this point stories just keep being the same thing. I might as well just read the same story and just swap out the names.

10/31/21, 5:22 PM
@HughTF As is usually the case when folks give me notes like this, like a lot of the stuff I write, this was a commission, so what happens to the characters is what was requested by the commissioner. But yeah, Carl's a total asshole, you're not wrong! If the problem is that you just don't like what happens in my stories then...don't read them? I write what I like, and folks pay me to write what they want because they like my style and my characterization. If it's not your thing, then it's not your thing! You can always pay me to write something else!