@Hypnothrill I just submitted part 5. Cleaned up some major plot holes and tried to add a bit more to the world-building. Not sure if there is anything to add to the final chapter, but we will see if the muses come up with something! Still trying to decide how to parody the "Murder House" season without all the --well, murder.

@firesix Oh I totally understand and you're not coming across as overly-hostile or anything. What I've come to understand in the process of researching this story is that it's extremely difficult to write in a way that accommodates everyone's experience, unfortunately. It definitely wasn't the intention to minimize or discount those who suffer from bottom dysphoria. In fact, it was my intention for the narrative to acknowledge that Sam is somewhat of a special case for being so comfortable in his genitalia and with this kind of penetrative sex. That may not have come across as clearly as I intended and that's definitely my bad.

@Ethan White @firesix See, what firesix is saying is totally valid but it's definitely a personal thing -- especially re: terminology and not wanting ftm scenes. Personally I do usually prefer language like "hole" (not front hole) and genitals instead of vagina and clitoris in my erotica. That's because they allow the reader to assume what genitals they want, and there are all sorts of bodies out there, trans, intersex, etc., and those bodies can be in all sorts of different states depending on transition choices or hormones or etc. The other terms don't personally give me dysphoria but they do make it more likely that I have to think about the baggage that comes with being transmasc (anxieties around bigotry like we've seen in this comment section, transphobia, assumptions about who I am based on my genitals, etc). I also think the more respectful ftm scenes get written, the less pressure there is on any one scene to be perfect. And also, I want to see myself or people similar to me represented. 🌈💖

@time.to.occur I hear what you're saying, and I respect you. Maybe the difference in our opinions comes from how we view our identities. I am a transgender man and you identify yourself as a trans masculine. And, of course, it's one thing to be masculine, and another thing to be a man. Wanting to be masculine is about how you're viewed and how you show yourself; how you dress, act, and talk. Wanting to be a man means I want to do away with my female body and have a male body, because that's part of being male. So we approach with different viewpoints, explaining the different opinions. If someone were to write me - Jay - into a story, I would not be okay with them writing me without a penis, and I would not be okay with involving a vagina and clitoris, because even though I can still be masculine with those things, they are the final barrier keeping me from ever being *male.* I suppose the big issue for me only comes in once I say things like that, because so often, the response is that I don't need a "male body" to be male, because male bodies don't actually exist since genitalia comes in all shapes and sizes, or whatever. Again, it's invalidating. It's like being told that my dysphoria is wrong and that my disconnect with my body makes no sense. Again, if it's not female genitalia, I have no reason to have a problem with it. This is why I find that the people who make me feel the most accepted, and who have been my greatest allies as I've come out and begun transitioning, are those who acknowledge that my body is female but my mind is male. They understand and validate the disconnect I feel. People who say that my body and my mind are both just female are the transphobes and trying to deny my experience. And people who say that my body and my mind are both already male... are trying to deny my experience. Transphobes? No, I wouldn't go that far (I don't even like that word). But I certainly don't feel validated, understood, or whatever else. The cultural zeitgeist of "people with vaginas can have male bodies" takes away my ability to talk about my experience of - sorry - being in a female body with breasts, a vagina, and a clitoris. It's not a male body. It doesn't feel like a male body. It's not one. Telling me it is makes it much worse.

@firesix I hope you don't mind me chiming in on this conversation, because I think it is a fascinating one. It is surprising to hear what you say about having a male mind but a female body--I want to emphasize, though, that since it is YOUR body and YOUR mind, whatever YOU decide and feel is the only valid interpretation. :) Speaking from my own perspective, I guess I would be reluctant to say that *anything* about a trans person--their bodies, their opinions, their presentation, their minds--made them any less of their true gender: in your case, a man. I've largely seen that brought up from transphobic people who argue "It's just biology" and "You'll never be a REAL man/woman because of your chromosomes." Without getting too much into it, that is the kind of logic I see in the negation and gatekeeping of trans athletes ("She has a male body so it's not fair for her to compete with 'real' women!"). But as you say, to deny a person's body and their experiences is equally invalidating. I have to think more about this. Thank you for the opportunity to do so. :)

@Feed Your Head Of course I don't mind you chiming in. Thanks for doing so, and you're more than welcome, though the pleasure is mine.

@firesix I've actually had top surgery and am on HRT, and I want things for my body that align with many trans men, in a lot of ways, but I think there's something a little off about saying that our differences here are because you're a trans man and I'm transmasc. I think the difference is actually extremely individual and personal, and that your experience as a trans man may differ substantially from some other trans men and be similar or the same for others! Really, I totally see what you mean about the well-meaning but clumsy way people are approaching that part of your experience, and they should talk about *you* and your relationship to yourself and your body the way you prefer, but your experience as a trans man isn't universal to all trans men, and for some trans men and transmasculine people, that way of talking may be validating.

@time.to.occur My experience as a trans man might not be universal to all trans men - I know that - but I think I'm coming to a point where there seems to be such a massive disconnect that I'm having a hard time calling myself a trans man in the first place if it doesn't mean what I think it means. I had very high hopes for the transgender community when I first came out, but I have found that, apparently, the level of dysphoria I feel is abnormal or even "problematic" because I'm apparently implying that my body is not male enough. Well, it's not. It's not male at all. I seriously am going to need people to stop telling me otherwise. I am so unbelievably tired of having to *defend* the fact that I would like to be a man - in a group full of FTMs. I feel like I am out in the cold on my ass again. When I say I am a trans man, I mean that I want to inhabit a fully male body. I don't want my female body parts. I don't want a new word for them or a shiny coat of paint - I don't want them. They are female and I'm male, and it disgusts me and is the bane of my existence that I am forced every day to live in this body. It's torture. I'd like a community that doesn't write that off by saying "Well, it's torture for you, but some trans men are fine with their male vaginas." Good for them, but that means that, obviously, me saying I am a trans man does not mean what I think it means. Fine. I won't use it anymore. What term should I use, then?

@firesix hey there, it sounds like this is a really difficult experience for you that comes with a lot of pain. I'm sorry that's the case. I'd be happy to chat more about it in DMs or on Discord if it would be helpful or you want an ear. I think that just like with cis men, there are lots of different experiences contained within a term like trans men.

@firesix I'd like to echo Time.To.Occur's point and say that my DMs and messages are always open if you need someone to listen. You've bared your soul here, and it's beautiful. Here if you need anything. :)

@firesix hi there! i was inspired by this comment to write a scene about a trans man. here it is, if you are interested. btw, love your stories! https://www.gayspiralstories.com/story/show/10002716

@time.to.occur @firesix hi there! i was inspired by this exchange write a scene about a trans man. here it is, if you are interested. btw, love your stories! https://www.gayspiralstories.com/story/show/10002716

@nycboot You made me go back and make sure I hadn't already used Lance as a character name in a prior Mariposa story. Looks like I have used that name a few times in other stories, but not in a Mariposa adventure. Anyway, none of these four characters is meant to have been someone you've seen in a previous story...but there's a chance some of my other characters might pop up as the story unfolds.

@Palaeo Same here, I couldn't resist skipping ahead and I just loved this story. Can't wait for more!