Recent Comments

10/12/21, 8:19 PM
Great job, love where this is going!
10/12/21, 5:23 PM
I like how you're providing a backstory in this second chapter. Great work!
10/12/21, 6:21 AM
The admission it excited him but he's confused why feels a little flat and unrealistic. The random submission to drink a bottle doesn't seem like much of a big deal. The timeline does tho. He wakes up after a dream that's probably really too soon to be having especially after the brutality from earlier which would be on his mind instead, gets fed a bottle and then pretty quickly goes back to sleep. I kind of was more interested in the initial dream and seeing where that went granted he needs anal recovery. As I said earlier I think a good cop approach would have been much better since we're avoiding, magic, drone tech, and other fantasy elements in many other stories. Making him feel his tender behind and grabbing his balls might be enticing but for the purpose of changing someone just a bit it's unlikely to work. A different good cop would be needed, ideally someone who helps after a hard time. Another approach to take could be stockholme syndrome or similar, but that takes a while. The therapy method also just isn't really the case with most horrible bullies (And as a sidenote there's two now maybe three given how Titan acted. Bright already identifying himself as one as well, whatever you want to call it to make him seem not as bad). They choose to be horrible because they denigrate others in their minds and gain power from it. His homophobia isn't fear but toxicity and as a result he won't ever shake from it unless someone pretty much saves his life and even that might not be enough. He still needs a doctor too. As always, I am curious how it'll develop.

10/12/21, 4:04 PM
Dude....@Astradei
10/12/21, 3:25 PM
I *kinda* hated the ending, just a little too dark and cruel for my tastes. However - this is undeniably a 5x5 story for this site. Well done.
easdf
10/12/21, 1:36 PM
I kinda feel bad for Trevor. I mean, he took care of the others and on their first chance they betrayed him (though I didn't understand if all them came back to normal minus one inch or if Trevor is fucked (no pun intended) for life) Anyway, definitely option 2. Seems like the one with the most potential and with the added plus it will show them that they can gain from working with the cards

10/12/21, 1:52 PM
@easdf I agree with you about Trevor, can you throw him a bone
10/12/21, 11:45 AM
It just occurred to me what a little devil Ruby is. He gave Christian a couple of suppositories and then proceeded to pass him off to Titan without warning him. That should be hilarious when it plays out. I can't wait.
Oct 10, 2021
10/12/21, 11:27 AM
I love listening to old school leathermen talk about their experiences so much. Thank you for sharing this story and these insights with us.
easdf
10/12/21, 11:22 AM
This was excellent! Creative idea and you handled the plot great even though you have a lot of characters. I'm a bit confused about the sex videos scene though. Who was that man and how did he get in? Also (and mostly) I'm surprised that Trevor just let him go without beating his ass or demanding that he will take the videos off the internet. Seemed like the obvious thing to do and Trevor is a clever and kind hearted man (you can tell who's my favorite)
10/12/21, 11:15 AM
Wow! This chapter was amazing. Really seeing different sides to everyone and it makes me want to see more of these characters and get to know them better.
10/12/21, 10:59 AM
I really like where this is going. Ruby is going to bring out a whole different side of this cop.