Recent Comments

leonardoPT
10/5/21, 11:38 PM
I hope to see more of their adventures in the years in between. There is a tension in the story from start to end, it is a pleasure tu read and an unusual setting. Thank you.
10/5/21, 11:13 PM
I hope Jimmy gets to turn the tables on both Sid and Whit. Or at the very least, Ralph intervenes and helps him take back what's his and get away from that relationship.
10/5/21, 10:41 PM
I haven't read any of your other stories (but that is going to change) and I see that I've come to this after some edits were made. I love the happy ending of this. Your edits definitely did the trick in making me fully aware that this was just a dark fantasy of Derek's, and I can understand why. I think my favorite part, though, is Razz insisting that Derek quit his job. Having relatively recently ended a job that was doing the same thing to me, it spoke volumes and made me wish I had someone like Razz to have talked me into leaving earlier.

10/5/21, 11:10 PM
@Proteus thanks so much!! if you do end up reading other things i've written, i hope you enjoy. and yes, that bit was definitely inspired by real life. i left an awful job back in march of this year and i couldn't be happier with the decision. wishing you all the best with your work.
10/5/21, 9:26 PM
I hope things get better for Jimmy.

10/5/21, 10:32 PM
@Cutlerfan it's not looking good for him is it? 😁
Ravenclaw
10/5/21, 8:14 PM
I liked the writing style. Was different. hope there is no age gap. Great
10/5/21, 2:05 PM
Nothing against this story, which I think is well-written, but I wasn't seeing any mind control here, and so I wonder if this would be better suited for the new site (Gay Cupid Stories).

10/5/21, 2:30 PM
@Hypnothrill Doesn't always have to be fantasy style mind control. This was indoctrination, which is as close to real mind control as it gets. With a realistic (or at least plausible) body transformation too.

10/5/21, 3:46 PM
@amul If there was more indoctrination--that is, if the Recruiter had to work harder to convince Gilbert to change his values and goals--then I wouldn't have any objections. As written, however, the Recruiter barely says ten words to the kid before he's totally abandoning his old personality. That lack of resistance firmly places the story in the "fantasy style mind control" category for me.
10/5/21, 2:11 PM
chapters will feel more congruent if it remains gentle
10/5/21, 12:43 PM
I love this. I hope you continue with “Daddy”. I loved that it was from the jocks POV, my only wish was that the sex had waited until he was completely enthralled and commanded to be desperate to breed his master with his huge penis.
10/5/21, 11:15 AM
Wicked story, loved it and especially enjoyed the rarely-used "company memo/press release" story format. Well done. As for tagging, I would recommend a somewhat more generic tag along the lines of "detachable body parts" which while uncommon, would see more use and be more widely applicable than body part teleportation while still cluing the readers in to what kind of kink they were about to see.

10/5/21, 11:19 AM
@amul thanks! ah there is a detachment tag. I assume that's what it means so I updated the tags. If it actually means something else someone let me know.
10/5/21, 12:33 AM
Great dialog with the computer. Barista is a jerk....he realizes a dog can understand what they're saying and he leaves? I'd be on my knees asking him how do I too turn into a dog? And I loved the description of scents when he was looking for the Barista after he left.

10/5/21, 10:55 AM
@PupScout I still think I'd react the same way the Barista did... it would freak me out too! Thanks for your kind words.