**SPOILER ALERT - COMMENTS REQUIRE CITING PARTS OF THE STORY** Excellently written - very accomplished in creating a fantasy world, but I actually stopped at first a little over half-way through as I started to hate the magical character thinking he was basically a murderer who didn't care in the least about his boyfriend, in fact held him in contempt, so killed him, and apparently was about to with complete lack of any humanity kill someone else. Dropped my cock from hard to soft. Forced myself to come back after a few minutes, and jumped to the end to find out where the heck this went. Okay, the return scene is kind of sweet and backs it off from all the conclusions the majority of the tale would have the reader jump to - it was a redemption for the Razz character, and the whole story, but unfortunately it came (for me at least) TOO LATE. (The musical "CHESS" famously suffered from this same situation. The character referred to as "The American" acts like a complete douche throughout the entire musical - however, he has a song called "Pity the Child" that explains why he's such an asshole and the staggeringly abusive treatment he suffered as a child. On the West End in London, that song appeared in the First Act and kind of early too, so you knew the whole time BEFORE you saw him act so obnoxiously that there was a reason and you the audience member remained sympathetic to him even as you saw him do apparently awful things. When it was brought to New York, since this was now America, the producers thought that the American audience would want their "hero" to have his big diva song happen right before the end, where big diva power ballads traditionally GO in Broadway Musicals. But it back-fired, it back-fired spectacularly - by the time the song appeared 2 plus hours into the show, the entire audience HATED the character having watched him be a phenomenal prick the whole time, and they NO LONGER CARED if he had an excuse or not, they had ZERO sympathy for him, and a really well-written and unique show died a fast death on Broadway because American audiences hated the American character. This is the way I felt here - if I had been given a clue early on that this wasn't permanent AND especially that Razz was "acting" with his disdain for his boyfriend, and his contempt for his very life and existence, it would have - for me - allowed it to remain a hot, unique fantasy story rather than me hating Razz and wondering what was sexy about a murderous selfish narcissist, who apparently was going to become a serial killer. Again, this is my opinion - I'm sure others went straight through without a problem - but as a Dom Top/Vers the complete lack of care for his Sub angered me, and I've never been able to wrap my own mind around the idea of being just an object or ignored or hated by a partner or partners though I know that some subs do go for that and have a right to find hot what they find hot. I've gone on way long, but I find you an excellent writer and because you do it so well, your story hit hard, if it hadn't I would never have said anything - I just felt maybe I could suggest something that would broaden the appeal of your tale without changing its uniqueness and powerful fantasy qualities. And I know, I might be completely alone in this and others may think I'm nuts or worse, insulting, which very much NOT where I'm going with this missive. It is a compliment of the highest measure that your storytelling was powerful enough and good enough for me to respond this passionately. In the end, I look forward to reading more of your stories, perhaps now "pre-warned" that you won't go to the most egregious extreme in the end. Thanks for writing for the site, and if you read through this missive, thanks for reading it.

Has to be gentle for me

I've been saving my next jo sesh for the third installment! This is so hot I don't want, I NEED more!

Welcome! Nice story. Those lycra unitards are hot. Always did have a thing for one-piece lycra outfits. I appreciated that you went light on the description of your characters. It's a good technique that allows your readers to imagine the characters as they prefer. Just lovingly describing his muscular ass and big dick was plenty fine.

i like both. i vote to stay gentle for now, but get darker

I was slightly disturbed but I felt there was plenty of set-up at the beginning to establish that Razz and Derek were in love and that Derek was pretty cognizant about how his partner's magic works. He wasn't worried, so I wasn't very worried. I did feel a bit of anxiety at the false perception of time - two months, and thought that maybe the "solution" to the problem with the shit job was that Razz kept him like that for long enough that he'd be fired from the job, but I was not at all surprised when that was revealed to simply be false, part of the fantasy. Great story and expertly written.

next part?

This was great, but why is it labeled as two chapters?

i wonder if slave has some sexy brothers so that way Cory can hang out with the whole family and make them his own family?

Wow what a story! We need more like this one!!