Recent Comments

Ben
9/16/21, 4:38 AM
I always enjoy your stories! This one has to be my favorite! Your profile picture also makes me laugh haha.
9/15/21, 11:41 PM
Woohoo! I feel like I'm at the top of the roller coaster ready to take a thrilling erotic ride.

Yourguy92
9/15/21, 11:52 PM
And there are 6 more parts online already @PupScout
9/15/21, 11:14 PM
I can't wait for the next part, great story!
Buckyboi
9/15/21, 7:48 PM
Charlie just gets cuter and cuter! Huh, so his changes are involuntary? Thought he'd changed to meet the neighbor. Love the mental image of the poor pup stuck in the pile of clothes! Is the collar a sign he's been claimed?

9/15/21, 9:25 PM
Oh c'mon now, @Buckyboi! I'm not gonna go giving away spoilers here in the comments now, am I? But it seems like it's hooked you in!
boi98229
9/15/21, 9:17 PM
i really like the Dominant's level of control over the sub and the brainwashing process, which seems quite authentic. Unfortunately for me, the apparent lack of consent and the use of this power for dumbing down someone to this extent against their wishes seems morally wrong. On top of that it seems really impractical for the Dom to push anyone into a state in which they could no longer look after themselves. The idea that a Dominant would want to do this, even in apparent fantasy, makes trust in a real D/s relationship seem even much harder and more unlikely. i would have preferred some discussion about consent and justification, or alternatively incorporate triggers for different temporary slave "modes", which would define such things as role, relationship, intelligence, and behavior. I know it's just fantasy, and my response takes the story too seriously. Still, even as a story, while i like so much of it, this aspect of the story takes away from it for me. Of course, that's just my opinion.
9/15/21, 12:59 PM
loved this chapter, like how Dan has a life ahead of him as a rough workie, also liked that fact that Dan will a load more swearing in the future. workies i know have tatts as someone else said a skinhead workie would be good and Dan can lure other trades to the barber shop, that way Thomas can do his thing

Silent Reader
9/15/21, 9:17 PM
@MalSkinI realy miss some rude skinhead boys laty here woudl be ncie ot have some volger skins back
8/31/21, 9:00 PM
As the stepson got more and more sadistic my interest in the story waned, and I expect an ending that is just the stepdad having his life ruined. Particularly once it was revealed that the stepson's motivation was "he's bored".

9/15/21, 8:48 PM
@amul all I can say is that it's not as simple as Jay being "bored" but I revealed his motives and such in the prequel series.
Scotty
9/15/21, 7:54 PM
hope we're getting close! 😊
9/15/21, 11:46 AM
Is this really a mind control or hypnosis story at all? It just seems like the story of a uniform fetishist who gets off on wearing certain clothes, no hypnosis needed. If I were to make any suggestions, one would be to flesh out the character of Roy with more distinctive details; currently, he just seems like a cipher, and it's hard to understand his motivations. I'd also make the video more pivotal to the plot and introduce some kind of dramatic tension; maybe part of Roy wants to be hypnotized by the video, but another part is afraid of the total loss of control that would entail.

9/15/21, 7:44 PM
@Hypnothrill As always, thank you for reading and commenting on my work. I chose to go this route mostly to try to be different from the source material. The original has the video more for the pleasure of creator, so I guess my take is a reaction away from that. The plot does have more developing of Roy over time and I think the issues you're looking for are later dealt with. For now you just see him in this way. So if anything I'd say have patience with the work; those issues will come along as the story moves.
nycboot
9/15/21, 6:43 PM
Gads, why didn't the narrator asked the boy what's going on? We still don't know if the dog was turned into a boy or a boy turned into a dog, although I guess in the world of the story it's as simple as Googling for it. Great going so far! And even though there's not much narrative going on yet, it's enough to remind me of that story from a few years ago where to test out a power, someone kills a dog. That unfortunate author just didn't understand the nature of dogs in our culture. I'm glad here's a story that really expresses the special nature of dogs.

9/15/21, 7:09 PM
It could be, @nycboot that our protagonist is... a bit of an idiot. But I've tried to base this story in a parallel reality to ours, so as much as it might pain me to admit it... drop me into a situation like this; where logic isn't helping me... I might just turn to Google for answers! I'll agree, there's not much of a story here yet... it's based off a dream I had and I've fleshed it out. I have the story mapped out in my mind, but let's see if you all like it!