Recent Comments

SC Walker
8/28/21, 7:03 AM
As always, an excellent chapter. Your sex scene descriptions are so illustrative and hot, I love how you can use words to really paint a picture of what is happening. I wish you could teach me how to write like that lol I'm really intrigued by the "black suits" subplot. My guess is that it's related to another one of your stories ;) The mystery is very intriguing and I have tons of theories about the female teachers... Maybe it's the big softie in me, but I love how caring and attentive Marc is. I actually kind of ship him and Sam. Not sure if that is your intention. I agree with the other reader that more than anyone I want Marc to have a happy ending. Sam and Gabe both can act like jerks, but Marc has consistently been portrayed as a very sweet, but extremely horny and gifted, stud. I will say, though, that tension and anticipation and build up are good, but sometimes too much build up can lead to disappointment if the end result isn't worth it. by that I mean, I hope by the end of the story what all your readers are likely hoping for will happen to Sam. I can be patient (and intrigued), but it also makes me nervous that I'm going to end up disappointed.

Nutiper
8/28/21, 7:37 AM
@SC Walker Oh! What are you hoping will happen to Sam? Like, a happy ending? Or are you thinking something more specific (like anal)?

SC Walker
8/28/21, 12:52 PM
Yeah, I'm hoping eventually Sam will get fucked. I think the story is getting there, but I'm not 100% sure. Maybe it's just me being inpatient but I could never write a story with this much teasing haha. @Nutiper

SC Walker
8/28/21, 12:56 PM
To be more specific, the goal of this chapter seemed to be humiliating and embarassing Sam, which isn't that appealing to me. I just feel bad for him. I enjoy it more when Sam is enthusiastic and enjoying it, not when he's cumming against his will, humiliating himself in front of people. @SC Walker

8/28/21, 2:13 PM
Thanks for the compliment! Revise, revise, revise is my best advice! The first draft was done a while ago, but I've been tweaking it with Nu and MM's help for weeks. Coming back to something you wrote the next day (or a couple days later) is helpful, I think! I won't spoil anything with teachers and blacksuits, but there's definitely a lot more plot mixed in with the porn in future chapters. Hopefully Gabe and Sam aren't coming across as *too* jerky. I'm trying to write them as (other than pushing each other's buttons) horny college guys who are really making an effort to be "ethical sluts" -- eager to try new things with new people without hurting anyone's feelings -- and it comes a little more naturally to Sam who's a bit of a people pleaser, even if he always has sex on the brain. @SC Walker

8/28/21, 2:17 PM
Some of that I included because I like a little light humiliation, but *also* every time Sam gets embarrassed (or potentially embarrassed) it pushes the plot/changes forward because one of his defining characteristics is his need to maintain his "straight" reputation -- even if it gets a little ridiculous! @SC Walker

SC Walker
8/28/21, 2:35 PM
I totally understand that, sorry if I came across trying to dictate your story to you. I think you've put in alot of effort into making Sam likeable sure he's a dumbass , but as you said he is just trying to enjoy himself. Creating such syampathetic character is a win in itself @bluesuedewho

8/28/21, 6:49 PM
Oh no, you're good! I was just worried things were still coming across as darker than I intended. @SC Walker
8/28/21, 6:28 PM
Wow. Not exactly porn, which is admittedly what I came here for, but a super heartwarming, believable story about friendship and courage, which I didn't think I'd ever describe a GSS entry as. Please go write a playfully homoerotic supernatural TV show, I'll be your biggest fan.
8/28/21, 6:19 PM
I suggest that Will be far far away from Lee if and when he ends the slave spell. Lee will be royally, and justifiably, pissed off. Somehow I don't see Will risking that since he is such a self-centered jerk. Will needs to be repeatedly beaten for a very long time.
8/28/21, 6:10 PM
Will deserved punishment and the end. No fun.
8/28/21, 5:56 PM
lets see how thing go in the end of the day
Anonymous
8/28/21, 4:47 PM
I'm with Horny on this one. "Kind Will" turned into selfish Will and douche bag Will in the end because of the big cock he "stole." Just my opinion though. I'm sure that a lot of other guys will enjoy this more. Good writing.

Anonymous
8/28/21, 5:33 PM
yeah its kinda like their Slave Collar for Alex story, like i thinks its a very fun story, but i personally think it wouldve been fun to see Alex's brother see what he was putting him through, especially since he's doing some very despicable things. BTW I still love your stories Pawns!
Chips
8/28/21, 2:45 PM
Well what can I say that hasn't already been said you just know how to put a story together very well written It's good to Jax keeping his Dominant role and Ronnie is struggling a little bit sometimes with his Dominant side but now Jax has got his mind on other things such as 3D what will he do will he meet up with 3D and his mates and what will Ronnie think of It all as he wants to take Jax's cherry and he will want to go bare back to feel connected I love how they both work things out to but what has Sabrina got in her mind to turn up, you have got to carry on with this great erotic hypnotic story I might be turning a bit myself Ha Ha not sure which way yet great story Brain will be looking forward to the next erotic chapter. All the best very enjoyable reading how's patty get on in your other stories they are all great stories
8/27/21, 8:44 PM
the way how this story has a strangle hold on my cock and orgasms... I love it so much!

8/28/21, 2:03 PM
Thanks! What a compliment! @Thexshxboi
8/28/21, 12:41 PM
I liked this story a lot, even if I didn't feel the mind control in it. Please keep on writing stories and publish them.
8/28/21, 11:40 AM
Glad you give them credit. I see you're going to *milk* us by posting in piecemeal.

Yourguy92
8/28/21, 12:31 PM
@astrologus absolutely but I won't make you wait too long, promised.