Recent Comments

Good Barkley
8/25/21, 2:56 PM
I loved the start to this story. then how it progressed. I was wondering if I would love to be Barkley, for a short time, so free of all worries and so eager to Play. so all in All, I loved it, so thanks
8/25/21, 2:34 PM
Brilliant story really enjoyed it like I do all of yours . Gotta agree with Math_Reez would be good to have a second part with a before and after .
8/25/21, 12:50 PM
Hot but it honestly still needs a lot of work in the editing phase
8/25/21, 7:03 AM
I like how mindfucked everybody is at this point: José talking about himself as "enamorada” (a form to say a lady is in love in Spanish); Nate acting so macho after power bottoming with his friend; but my favorite had to be Cody being such a rampant slut who's happy to debase himself and allows other men to ridicule him in exchange of sex. Above all, he seems so proud to tell everyone knows what his father and him does behind closed doors. He is undoubtedly the best mindfuck in the story (that's saying a lot! , especially compared of how he used to be. Oh, man, you have no idea how happy you make me with every new chapter.

Oddballs
8/25/21, 8:18 AM
@Plymouth58 Weeeeeell, if I'm being honest, I get all of my Spanish lines from Google Translate; I wanted to make Jose be as authentic as I could, so I typed up the sentences in English and translated it to Spanish and copy/pasted the translation. The only language I've tried to learn was 2 years of Japanese in high school, and hell if I remember most of it, if any at all. So the part of Jose referring to himself with a female pronoun is a dumb mess up on MY part >_>

8/25/21, 11:13 AM
@Oddballs oh, really? ha, ha, I thought it was intentional! you see, in Spanish, many words have a masculine or feminine form depending on the subject on the sentence, and recently Google Translate has been offering translations in feminine as the first option (in an effort to be more inclusive, I suppose), and while it sometimes includes both forms, it doesn't always do so, or it's not very clear about it nor how to use it. You can get a better translation if you specify who is the subject in the sentence, writing it like "I'm in love, he said", so it will give you the right gender, like "estoy enamorado, él dijo". But if you have some doubt about words in Spanish, I'd be happy to help you. I'm checking the site from time to time, so it won't take me long to reply 🙂
8/24/21, 12:26 PM
amazing story. So hot to read. I really liked the twist that Vincent made Dylan his lover instead of another slave. nice touch

8/25/21, 10:14 AM
@ForgottenCradle I think that if vincent were ti be asked, he would say that he'd already had a slave so he used Dylan as an opportunity to fill a different sort of need in his life. thanks for letting me know how much you liked my story!
8/24/21, 1:02 PM
loved this story! the tension of Vincent in over his head and making the best of it was a really nice element i don't often see on here. for me, the hottest part hands down was Dylan receiving that big push and having everything rewritten in his head. such a tasty mindfuck snack. and so my only criticism (and its mild) is that i wanted an entire buffet of that, not just the juicy bits you included. nice job and cant wait to read more of your work!

8/25/21, 5:21 AM
@redwood thanks for reading! i wanted to explore a controller who wasn't at all that into massive power or had total, perfect control of his abilities. it made for a much more interesting story and i am so glad you enjoyed it.
8/24/21, 7:47 PM
This was absolutely amazing. Always love the characters realizing something is wrong but being powerless to stop it. Especially with Vincent, who never intended to push this far but now he's in over his head and decides to just enjoy himself for the ride. Such a damn good read

8/25/21, 4:43 AM
@Hypno_boy Thank you for your lovely words! I'm so glad you enjoyed the way that vincent comes in and up ends Dylan's world, not even meaning to. Dylan's struggles against insurmountable odds where he ultimately fail were really fun to write!
Dec 24, 2020
8/25/21, 3:49 AM
Loved the story, excellent sex scenes that got me hard & leaking, great story build and fun to read. Now, where can I find a Bradley for my own!
8/25/21, 3:18 AM
Interesting. So the sex was hot. That said the logical smart elements of the start seem to have faded into sex crazed changes which aren't as stellar. I hope the gay guy can get a focused mind to like fix the chaos edits. Honestly, I really like the sex parts, thats quite enjoyable, but the story feels less real, less complex, now.

8/25/21, 3:31 AM
Thanks for commenting! I'm trying to write this story as if two horny college dudes got their hands on a reality-altering magic book -- and sometimes they think with their dick (or butt) instead of their brains! @Heru Kane

8/25/21, 3:37 AM
@bluesuedewho Yeah I noticed that. Its just that at the start there was a bit more using their brains and I liked that element. Now Sam is basically a dumb jock and Gabe isn't as nice as he was original, at least it doesn't feel like he was. Also the whole thing with Sam's hole is like "come on, let him get rimmed and/or fucked." Like I said, the sex parts are super sexy and enjoyable. I liked that. It just had other elements that were fun at the start that have given way to pure sex and they are missed by me.

8/25/21, 3:42 AM
I can't promise that future chapters are going to be *exactly* what you're looking for, but I can say that this chapter sets up future changes beyond just Sam loving blowjobs! @Heru Kane
8/25/21, 3:15 AM
Interesting. I wonder, hope really, how he will go gay. I do hope he keeps control and stays smart. That saud, so far, this is interesting.