Recent Comments

7/28/21, 7:10 PM
Thanks for the tip! (ha). I'm miserable with military matters. I'll change it to Captain. Much gratitude for your expertise.
Nutiper
7/28/21, 7:00 PM
wow so jot.......

7/28/21, 7:02 PM
@Nutiper No, *you* so jot :D
7/28/21, 6:54 PM
It's the start of the story so there's no much to comment on for that; rankwise, there's a problem. A Corporal is the next step up from a Private in military rank; Lance would most likely be either a Captain if he's still going on mission or a Colonel. A captain is the highest rank you can achieve and still be out on missions; if you go with Captain it would put Lance in his late 40s or early 50s while a Colonel is much higher up and would put Lance somewhere in his 60s and bring him out from behind a desk to go on a mission. I leave the choice to you, but that's a correction you'll need to make.
7/28/21, 5:09 PM
Me encanta 😍 Quiero mas! 🙌🏻
Jul 27, 2021
7/28/21, 3:50 PM
What a great history u have here, seems like u know the character quite well since I can be alive rocket action ma proper to his character. It was so good, that I wanted to more by the time I reached the end, hope u write more Rocket stories in the future!
Doug
7/28/21, 1:44 PM
How about a Diamond tier and then a Platinum tier?
7/28/21, 12:08 PM
Well, that was a good start, let see how it goes
2/6/21, 10:27 PM
It sounds like the end of the this series. I do hope to hear about more, but I'm glad to have taken this journey and will gladly do so again!

7/28/21, 9:59 AM
@djinnie LOVED it amazing in every way, just a little upkeep, wasnt the dads orientation gay? im wondering if it was something i missed or a mistake
7/28/21, 7:34 AM
God I've missed EdIam and great to have a new story. This story should of won the competition as original with a great twist. Would love to see a sequel to see how the family were going with Clint as the step dad
7/27/21, 4:38 AM
Looks like my suspicions about Gabe are coming true! Using the book to become a physical god who has a gym especially dedicated to guys like himself...I fear the worst. :p Speaking on a more serious note, I must admit I wasn't crazy about the locker room scene before Sam's edit to the book...I know Gabe has become dominant, but to be frank, the scene gave me serious rape vibes (slowly advancing on Sam, telling him that he HAS to "fix this," saying that he wants his ass NOW...). Yes, Sam found a loophole re: consent, and of course this site is full of non-con sex, but something about the scene felt very wrong to me, especially because Sam was essentially forced to use his turn to change the nature of consent, which feels like coercion. Plus Gabe going from sensible and careful to a near-rapist rapidly depletes my interest. In thinking of it, the ability to make guys orgasm through voice alone and then deliberately speaking as slowly and carefully as possible was also offputting. It's fun to drive someone into a lusty haze, but only if the person wanted to be there in the first place...I think it's especially tough because the earlier chapters were framed with Gabe and Sam as more fun-loving but ethical, whereas this chapter turns Gabe into a real jerk, for lack of a better term. Those are only my own thoughts, but did want to share them. I would love to hear your ideas. :) Thank you for reading. :)

Nutiper
7/27/21, 5:52 AM
@Feed Your Head Sorry to hear that this story isn't for you! I will say I had an extremely different understanding of the events in this chapter and what the characters were doing than compared to the interpretation you shared. But I'm not sure it's productive to have that particular conversation in the comments, as I don't think either of us will change each other's mind. If you end up wanting to chat about it you can always reach out — I just don't want to spam up the comments too much

Anonymous
7/27/21, 8:00 AM
@Feed Your Head I feel some of that vibe too. I was more hoping for a drama blow out scene between them, with Sam retorting along the lines that most of the current situation was actually Gabe's fault because of his straight edit. That scene could have had such a different dynamic, and still had the same outcome. But the authors made a creative decision for the scene with more widespread aftershocks/ripples/butterfly effect. There are soooo many ramifications for the edits Sam made; there's several branches this can explore. But that's the thing with story forums such as this. In normal literature, you read a finished, polished work. In this format, we're seeing the plot unfold chapter by chapter, with a chance for feedback to the authors/artists (and I would call these wordsmiths artists), possibly influencing future chapters because of the interactive nature of this story format. In a published work, it's going to be edited to be more appealing to a general audience. Here, it's a specific audience, so it can be hit and miss with people. On a personal level, I relate to Sam in the locker scene in my personal experience. It makes scenes like that hard to read. But I get some catharsis from it, and reading scenes related to my experience in violent stories such as this has helped me to move past that part of my life. Yes no still get "triggered" but in settings like this where it's intended as playful, it makes what I've been through less... I don't know what word/emotion to use here. Bluesuedewho / MonsterMash62, Thanks for another interesting chapter!

7/27/21, 3:03 PM
@Nutiper Oh, mon cœur, you're not getting rid of me THAT easily! If I can make it through *The Fountainhead*, I can make it through this. :p But seriously, I am genuinely interested in this story and want to see what happens next. I wanted to express what I felt about this chapter, though, because it was such a marked departure. As you say, though, flooding the comments with discussions will be distracting. I'll message you later through the DM feature. Thanks for responding! :D

Nutiper
7/27/21, 9:31 PM
@Feed Your Head Absolutely! And your comment along with some others did make me realize it wouldn't hurt to really boost things in the story that felt clear to me and Blue and Monstermash, but I guess weren't coming through to some readers... (Like, this is a small example out of many, but the whole "sexy voice" thing was meant to come across as another slip-up on Gabe's part, who likely wrote in something about having a voice that's "deep and masculine and arousing" without realizing it would turn out so *literal*.) So thank you, also, for your patience with us! I have a hunch that a revised version of the chapter might drop tonight or tomorrow... I still think it will not work for everyone, but hopefully the intent will be clearer.

7/28/21, 6:50 AM
@Nutiper Thank you all for taking the time to speak to us readers and work on the story! In re-reading, I think I found that my main problem is that Gabe is consistently described as "smug," "smirking," and "arrogant," lazing around and knowing that he's so sexy that he can do whatever he want--as if his personality, after becoming a muscle god, totally changed from "sweet-natured himbo" to "douchey jerk" (yes, there is a difference). :p Yes, he's an idiot, but in his current incarnation, he's *so* entitled and demanding just because he's hot that he comes across as unsympathetic and, as I mentioned earlier, more of a forceful rapist. A particularly big change is how in the previous chapter, the realization that his latest change gave Sam a bubble butt sent Gave into a panic, whereas in this one, when he figures out that his voice is literally orgasmic and arousing, he starts talking more slowly to torture Sam. That seems to be emblematic of the overall issue. Thanks! I'll be DMing you if you want to talk more. :D