Recent Comments

nobody
7/11/21, 7:33 PM
The whole story was great but.... where exactly did the points factor in??

7/12/21, 12:21 AM
It determined who won. The winner had the ability to alter all cards played any way he likes. However, due to the Reality Warp cars, neither Grant (the winner) nor any of the others realized the game was magic. From their perspective, they played a boring game where they drew cards that roughly mirrored themselves but otherwise did nothing. So Grant changed nothing. @nobody
7/11/21, 4:03 PM
This is one of my favorite reads in a while! I loved the transformation implied and the outcome at the end! I tend to be reticent to read stories coming out in one very long chapter, but the tags implied so many of my likes that I couldn't pass it! Amazing story!

7/12/21, 12:18 AM
If not for the challenge i would have probably broke it into 4 chapters. The intro and preliminary round for the 1st and a round per chapter there after. @Bigger
KKA
7/11/21, 7:53 PM
the Meta was super cute! cool seeing new things great work!

7/11/21, 10:58 PM
Thanks @KKA! I appreciate you giving something weird a shot. Sometimes it's fun :)
6/29/21, 12:38 PM
Super hot hookup! Excited to see where it goes. Mostly just feel bad for Jared, rejection's a bitch...

7/11/21, 8:25 PM
@tenser13 Thanks! don't worry, it's gonna be all right for him.
7/10/21, 1:37 PM
I love this story concept, but the end of this chapter feels sad :(

7/11/21, 8:25 PM
@RikuS Just wait, it all will be okay at the end.
7/11/21, 8:16 PM
the program is learning and so are the subjects nice
Anonymous
7/11/21, 7:39 PM
I loved this series. "A strange stillness descended over the room for several moments." Have you read any William M. Sloane? "To Walk The Night" and "The Edge of Running Water", both great genre-busting horrors.
7/11/21, 6:33 PM
This was very fun. I love the play of author dynamics and the narative.I love reading your experimental stuff.

7/11/21, 7:16 PM
Thanks @Cadek! I’m glad it came across well. I was worried about the author interview section because I thought I might be going too meta, but I’m glad to see it came across alright. I’ll try to be less shy about sharing my experimental stuff in the future.
Willie Cici
7/11/21, 4:56 PM
That was one of the most creatively written stories I ever read. And, I'm not limiting my critique to this blog. It is a wonderful, imaginative story.

7/11/21, 7:15 PM
Thank you @Willie Cici. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Sometimes, when I hit post on something like this, I have no idea if I’ll wake up to wonderfully positive comments, or to people saying wtf. Thanks, I appreciate you.
7/11/21, 6:13 PM
other than what hypnothrill pointed out, i think it was a bit rushed. The hypnosis is not really so I say, presented well. If I may suggest, we can set and add the mood on the hypnosis. Since the tea, can put the person who drank it in a suggestive state (like in hypnosis), we can further that in a way we put suggestion to the main character. I believe for a guy who is lusting for his ideal man, it is better to put in a setting that involves the un-hypnotic state. It is more thrilling to put him aware of what is happening yet cannot controlled himself or understand himself but still confused and enjoys what was happening. For example, in a hypnotic state, where I touch your skin, it will arouse you.. that mood setting. Like Christian Grey would say, I don't do necrophilia or unresponsive to sexual acts. With this suggestion of skin touching, as a friend since you are tired, I just learn a new massage... care to try? and the story will mode on that in a erotic way and that it will not be rushed. Some points I can suggest to improved the story with enticing stimulation... lols. :)