Recent Comments

7/5/21, 10:12 AM
Definitely my favorite of the three stories you posted yesterday! And it featured one of your trademarks, the description of someone's voice as "effete"! I just wish it had been a little longer; I would have liked to have seen more scenes of Marcus Justus struggling with the effects of the gypsy curse he unwittingly unleashed.

Willie Cici
7/6/21, 2:48 AM
@Hypnothrill I have no problem, and in fact, encourage you to take up the story and take in the direction you suggest. You are great story teller and I would have no problem if you want to add a chapter. This is not an insult, nor should you take it as such. My limited inspiration took me this far. I would love to see where you take it. FYI - The original inspiration, believe it or not, was 'Il Trovatore'.
7/6/21, 2:03 AM
I love military men getting transformed. Excellent!
7/6/21, 1:41 AM
I wanted to love this story. I agree with the previous comment that the guys transformations were told too soon. I sort of lost interest in reading it once I read that knowing how it was going to play out. Don't get me wrong, this has the makings of a really good story, it has a lot of promise for both high stakes and transformations. Sometimes when you over focus on one, the other gets lost in the writing. With something that has multiple moving pieces, you may want to try to balance it out and keep people guessing. If they know how the story is going to go in the first few paragraphs then what would keep them engaged? Keep them in the story? I love the transformations you do have. Keep writing, keep working at this, and keep knowing that in the end you wont make everyone happy. This is after all your story, you get to tell it how you want to tell it, and that's all anyone needs to consider when reading.
Anonymous
7/6/21, 12:15 AM
Such a hot story! Loved this and hope there's more!
blankbot
7/5/21, 11:17 PM
Very, very nice.
Anonymous
7/5/21, 10:23 PM
**“And if I ever see you touch another drop of drink, if I ever see you mistreat your wife or another orphan again,” he brought his muzzled, fanged, face next to the frightened man’s ear, “I will EAT you… ALIVE!”** BAD ASS! I love it!
Anonymous
7/5/21, 10:19 PM
Loved how Brunaulf killed that bastard. He deserved every second of torment!
7/5/21, 10:06 PM
Great story! Very enjoyable build.
Anonymous
7/5/21, 9:41 PM
Some interesting ideas, but feels like you play your hand too soon. Within the first couple of paragraphs we know exactly how the guys want to be transformed, and that Reese is going to throw the competition. Everything after that goes pretty much exactly as expected, which rather lessens the stakes

Anonymous
7/5/21, 9:51 PM
@True, but the focus was not so much on the risks of the competition and more so on the transformations and the actions that led up to each one, and mainly how Reese was enjoying things going his way. There were a few points in the story where it almost seemed like things would not go right for Reese's plans.
lakritz24
7/5/21, 9:37 PM
There is one word in German in the text. Now al aboud the Borg. oh i know this creature. i have recognized it. its a living creature. i have tracking it an feeding. greetings both, you and the ceature. J. J. Z.