Recent Comments

6/1/21, 1:03 PM
I truly enjoyed this story! Hope there will be another chapter!
6/1/21, 10:41 AM
Submissive Master? Interested to see how this turns out!
Evan
6/1/21, 6:20 AM
Great concept. Who doesn't like a guy being made into a slut. :) Thanks for writing! And congrats on your first story. I wanted to offer you some ideas for formatting your dialogue for your next story that may increase your readership. The English convention when writing is: - Quotation marks "" rather than the double arrows are used for speech to make it clear it is spoken aloud. Example: "What is happening?" he said. - Whenever a different person is speaking, make a new paragraph. It makes it easier to tell that the speaker has changed and breaks up the text so it's not one big paragraph. Example: "Who are you?" I asked. "I'm your friend, Aaron," he said. "Oh," I said.

LuckyFontane
6/1/21, 10:31 AM
@Evan Thank you for your feedback! I just edited the story according to your suggestions and you're right it does look better. It would be great if you could review the style again (when the admins approved the update) :)
LuckyFontane
5/31/21, 2:18 PM
This is my first story! Please tell me everything you think about it. I hope you understand my English since it is not my native language.

5/31/21, 9:08 PM
@LuckyFontane I think you did amazing! personally I'm a huge fan of stories where there is awareness and a straight guy is "made" into a plaything. just like in this, the shrinking dick and the tattoo was a nice touch! if you ever do a pt2 I would love to see what happens when he gets deployed as a SPU. Also if you're into it (I am but feel free to disagree) you could do like in the breeding season, SPUs also are able to get pregnant due to the exposure to sperm or something... maybe a pill given to him forcefully

5/31/21, 9:10 PM
@LuckyFontane also like while he's deployed his teacher, best friend or maybe even sibling/parent end up using him (potentially for breeding if not here)

LuckyFontane
6/1/21, 10:28 AM
@Pakibttm Thank you for the feedback. While I actually didn't plan a sequel, this gave some great ideas :) So maybe, there will be one, but it will take a while ;)
6/1/21, 10:19 AM
I am LOVING this. The changes to Rob's mind are so subtle that the reader feels hypnotized, too; I love when he contradicts himself (he goes from thinking that he can't tell the ghosts he's onto them to happily asking about the other ghosts, for instance). A slow burn is beautiful for this type of story: gradual mental changes, and the massage was achingly hot. Incredible!
6/1/21, 9:39 AM
We need more of this
6/1/21, 8:30 AM
Interesting, lets see how it goes
Daniel
6/1/21, 2:52 AM
wish the 'taking and corruption' took a bit longer dude I.J.S.
Pup Tyler
5/31/21, 10:38 PM
Very nice part. I would love to see the next one
5/31/21, 10:08 PM
Hot story, the dialogue is great. A modest criticism though, there are some grammar and punctuation issues that're pretty pervasive. Excessive commas and exclamation points, some issues with paragraphs that lead me to lose track of who's speaking. Small fixable issues in an otherwise great story