Recent Comments

Apr 18, 2021
screamingmoist
4/18/21, 3:12 PM
If the bar or a couple of these characters seem familiar that's because you saw them previously in "Untangled."
4/18/21, 1:34 PM
I've really been enjoying this series! What I especially love in this chapter is the universal translator malfunction and the subtle bits and pieces of information you reveal about Tyzon and the others' motives over time. Your worldbuilding is excellent. You also manage to focus the action on the sensual experiences that Charley is having while still managing to unfold that information for us in the background. Love it!
4/6/21, 9:59 AM
Very much enjoying the slow burn on this as the emotional and mental changes work their way through!

4/18/21, 1:30 PM
@Dace this is me. More seductively erotic or s simple thriller Goosebumps with gay sex, if will. Sorry so long on feed back. Also like establishing character and starting outside typical for sitesetup looking
Nutiper
4/18/21, 8:41 AM
Oh, this was so *fun* and hot! And I love that Spencer's first reaction at getting a slightly bigger dick isn't to try the prostate massager again and grow his dick further — it's to immediately call up Andy in hopes of living out his sudden intense fantasies about getting pounded by Andy's nine-incher. Makes me wonder what *would* happen if Spencer used the massager a second time... (And, well, I'm sure we'll find out!) What a great first chapter, and I'm really looking forward to reading the next one!

4/18/21, 11:28 AM
@Nutiper Thank you! and hmm, let's just say that Andy might be wondering the same thing as you... ;)
4/18/21, 9:12 AM
Sounds like a nice start, very excited to see where you'll be taking this! And I see this is your first story here, welcome to the author gang!

4/18/21, 9:58 AM
@Transformheaven Thank you! And thank you for the warm welcome :) I've been writing a 1 or 2 pieces in the past, all published in the big T. I wasn't sure they would fit the mind control requirement here, might be reconsidering those in the future :)
4/18/21, 6:01 AM
Really excited to see where this is headed!

4/18/21, 8:47 AM
@Grant Spiral Thanks for this! I'm pumped :) I'm cleaning up chapter 2, hopefully I'll finish it soonest :)
Capatalistbees
4/18/21, 8:46 AM
Super fun, really loved it! Fingers crossed for a sequel.
4/18/21, 7:01 AM
Glad to see this is just intended as a prologue. I thought the premise here was very hot, but I missed having discernible characters with individual personalities and names.

4/18/21, 8:46 AM
@Hypnothrill oh wow thank you! I'm glad you found it hot, I was too worried it would be a boring first read. I already have most of the characters lined up, chapter 2 coming real soon following the adventures of Brinch :)
Nutiper
4/18/21, 8:09 AM
Something that's so fun about this story is that I can *feel* Charley becoming more and more heads-over-heels in lust with Tyzon — partly because that's the case with *me*, haha, with how your descriptions of him just get increasingly *hot* and specific. Like, Charley's not just obsessed with Tyzon's dick now, he's also fantasizing about his muscular ass too... (Though of course, there's a big hint that Tyzon's ansible is the one that's responsible for that new focus.) Speaking of which, I was really intrigued by the ambiguity where Tyzon says... > “You were explaining how some humans, ‘jocks,’ I believe you called them, sometimes engage in ‘horseplay’ in the showers, including forceful manual stimulation of the gluteal muscles. We tried to replicate this cultural phenomenon..." ...because I realize *Charley never actually says that*. He just thinks it, right? Immediately after Tyzon uses his ansible. Which makes me wonder: can Tyzon read Charley's mind? Or (more likely) is he directly feeding Charley a *lot* of his internal monologue, to the point that Tyzon slips and doesn't notice when Charley didn't actually say something — because Tyzon *knows* that Charley thought it? If so: *whew*. This is a really *hot* and subtle execution of a fun and tricky concept, so bravo.
Anonymous
4/16/21, 8:11 AM
> Attacking political parties I thought wasn’t allowed. I think people forget how homophobic Democrats are. They only pander to gays when it suits them. Please don’t post inflammatory political stuff. 🙄