Recent Comments

A very pleased reader
2/9/25, 11:59 PM
Amazing! As always! You make such a great job at creating your characters. The way you settle their personalities before the fun always makes things hotter, though Id point it out :)

2/10/25, 7:04 AM
@A very pleased reader Thank you! I'm glad you liked it, and thank you for the kind comment about characterization. I do my best!:satisfied:
2/10/25, 6:37 AM
Hot stuff!
Anonymous
2/10/25, 6:18 AM
I would love a continuation. Although I must admit a continuation with a bit more expansion into everyone. Poor John didn’t get a lot of exposition.
2/10/25, 5:57 AM
I hope you continue!
2/10/25, 5:45 AM
I hope you start writing again. Love your work
2/8/25, 8:08 PM
I like the concept, and the idea is amazingly fresh. I did get hard reading this and I look forward to the next chapters! There are some minor issues, though, and I'd recommend using Grammarly or a similar tool if you're struggling with grammar and spelling.

2/10/25, 5:36 AM
@[Corin](/user/show/125990) I hate Grammarly because I normally write better than Grammarly does but, like I said, I was very sick when I wrote what I wrote and I have been working on a rewrite, now that I'm feeling better. When I wrote the original post, I had stuff coming out both ends at the same time. I too can now see some of the POV switches, passive voice and wordiness.
Anonymous
2/10/25, 3:53 AM
Loved it! Please continue!
2/10/25, 3:14 AM
Wish you’d continue this
nobody
11/29/22, 10:07 PM
loved it but the tf felt a bit rushed. other than that amazing

11/30/22, 11:13 AM
@[nobody](/user/show/930612) Agreed. It’s a scene to be savored, especially on a site like this. My only other note is that there was a stretch of dialogue in a single paragraph. That made it seem like just one person was speaking that whole time. You need to have a new line each time someone else says something. Other than all that, this was great!

12/1/22, 5:44 AM
@[nobody](/user/show/930612) Thanks for the positive comment! My hope was that the tf would kind of unfurl like a climax itself, but I definitely can see based on what you and Programming Prince were saying that it's kind of brushing over the part people want to read. It's definitely given me some thoughts for how to approach revisions/future writing!

12/1/22, 5:49 AM
@[Programming Prince](/user/show/183115) I appreciate the note re: extending the focus on the tf and breaking up the dialogue. I re-read it back with that in mind and can see how it read confusingly!

Anonymous
2/10/25, 3:14 AM
@[CatherineOfBearagon](/user/show/10005930) So loved it for sure. Wishful thinking. Giggles. Being mtf myself. But can imagine they'll be more chapters to add to this, as a possibility. Nice writing regardless for sure
Staci39Z1
2/10/25, 3:02 AM
Like O.M.G., sign me up please. Maybe shorter story, but guessing chapters can be added. Such a torn on for sure. Loved it