Recent Comments

4/6/21, 4:31 AM
Oh yeah, I love this so much, too bad he didnt play with his feet. I wonder who's the next victim, i hope is the coach or the principal <3
3/22/21, 5:15 AM
My ears were burning. X-) In actuality, I read this story a while ago and wanted to collect my thoughts before commenting. I was rather engaged by the themes being offered in the summary: medieval magics, the corruption of moralistic knights, and betrayal at the hands of an intimately trusted mentor. It's a great concept, and I'd argue that you narratively delivered on what you promised. I also applaud you for writing over five-thousand words. Of course I wish the ending was longer, but as it had to end somewhere, it's your imperative to stop it where you please after such effort. Really, the only thing I'd offer up as advice is that you should never feel so pressured to post that you can't read over what you have. I always hate to post what I feel is a masterpiece only to have it plagued with spelling, grammar, and formatting errors. The quotation feature being used so liberally, for instance, really threw me off while reading this story. Missing quotation marks also often confused me. You seem somewhat uncomfortable with external dialogue in general, in fact, which might might be something for you to look out for in the future because your writing style really does offer a lot of promise! You handle internal dialogue very well, offering exceptionally arousing insight into your characters' thoughts, and your attention to descriptive details is phenomenal. Please keep writing! Read over your work before posting it, keep writing to find your style over time, and (if you're okay with a little homework) maybe read other works/books to develop a sense of voice. I'm certain you'll be dominating this site in no time with your unique vision and execution!

4/6/21, 2:17 AM
Thanks, for the comment and encouragement. This is my second year of writing stories and my second story competition on this website. I still have a long way to go. @Tom Gungy
4/5/21, 5:50 PM
i love your work! keep going!

4/6/21, 2:10 AM
Thanks, can you tell me what you liked about the story like your favorite part of it ? @Dice
4/5/21, 11:03 PM
It will not surprise you very much to learn that this was my favorite chapter.
4/5/21, 11:03 PM
At last I'm at a spot where I can comment on this brilliance. The surprising warmth! The personality! The recurring sense that I would quite happily read an entire novel with this set-up for readerly enjoyment beyond the sexual! Simply incredible. The dudes are so personable--even when they're hollowed out, they bubble up in surprising ways--and the action balances white-hot sexiness with wry humor and at times an almost slapstick sense of glee. Well worth several reads. I salute you.
4/5/21, 10:10 PM
hottt. Hope there is more to come.
4/5/21, 6:06 AM
Sooo hot. Can't wait for more. Looking forward to the next chapter.

4/5/21, 9:16 PM
Thanks @Jonanator! ;)

4/5/21, 9:48 PM
welcome. Your one of my favorites@Time Stop/hypno fetish
jimbor
4/5/21, 7:41 PM
These are fun. I like the use of the classy polo shirt as a prop - very hot when he is forced to put his bomber jacket back on over his bare chest. Would like to see you do a chapter on a very well dressed yuppie type - expensive suit, tie, shoes. Clothing details are my favorite. You do a good job with that theme

4/5/21, 9:24 PM
Thanks, @jimbor! I'm glad you liked it. Yeah, I was thinking in that concept of going from fancy to primal when writing it. Honestly, I find casual or sporty outfits/uniforms sexier, but I don't rule out working with more elegant suits or outfits in future parts ;)
2/27/21, 2:01 AM
Right up my alley. Thanks for writing!

4/5/21, 8:14 PM
@Derek Williams Thank you so much! Honestly your stories were some of the first I really got into on this site, so you were definitely a huge inspiration for my first story. Glad you enjoyed!

4/5/21, 8:51 PM
@Freckleman64 Dude, that's so flattering to hear. Thanks for writing, and I hope we'll see more stories from you in the future!
4/5/21, 8:24 PM
Congrats on 5th place.