Recent Comments

4/5/21, 10:30 AM
hope you come up with some more great stuff again!!
Apr 5, 2021
4/5/21, 9:41 AM
Congrats on publishing your first story here, Praisego! I think this one has a lot of good elements, including an exciting cliffhanger at the end. But my main recommendation would be to add a bit more character development, especially when it comes to the narrator, Jimmy. I get the sense that we're supposed to sympathize and even identify with Jimmy, but I found that hard to do. Frankly, I thought that Jimmy seemed like a sociopath; when he finds his friend and roommate in a vulnerable state, he immediately starts thinking of ways to rape him. If we're intended to root for Jimmy, it might have worked better if he spent some time talking to Steven while he was under trance, then discovered that Steven had always been attracted to him, but just too afraid to act on that attraction. But for me, the more interesting option would just be to lean into Jimmy's creepiness, to make him a self-pitying and self-justifying incel who rationalizes taking advantage of his hot jock roommate. That would give the reader even more reason to come back for Chapter 2 and see if Steven can turn the tables on Jimmy.
Apr 5, 2021
Evan
4/5/21, 8:07 AM
Cool idea, walking in on a roommate already in trance thinking he was in private. Who could resist using that to their advantage. Unexpected twist he knows. Hmm. Where will it go from here?
4/5/21, 8:06 AM
hot but wish you would have talked more about the transformations, especially the weight gain
4/5/21, 8:06 AM
loved the revisit and am thrilled for everything that comes next
Oct 16, 2006
jimbor
4/5/21, 7:28 AM
Love this story. Especially when Tom can no longer speak English and he is forced to say he is not Tom Brady. I agree that there should be a sequel. Maybe have Tom return to his own body but with the changes to his personality and history. He can no longer speak English. His education is gone. He has lost his confidence. He doesn't think he deserves to wear expensive suits or his uniform
4/5/21, 5:44 AM
I cannot believe I missed this addition to your wonderful series the Gentlemans Club. This prequel is very clever and though dark pushes quite a few of my buttons. Bravo Sir.
Martin
2/1/20, 9:58 AM
AbsMan420, thank you so much, coming from you that means a lot to me :) Firesix, see, how I'm blushing: ## 😊 Let's see what will happen to Steff and Alec. I actually can't wait to get my ideas on "paper" :) Thank you all for those encouraging comments!

4/5/21, 3:24 AM
@Martin hey still waiting for part 2 😅

Martin
4/5/21, 5:43 AM
@Pakibttm Thank you, that's nice to here that there are still people waiting for this. I'm horrible at finishing my stories, I know. This morning I had a *very* intense and hot half-sleep fantasy while wanking my morning wood. I think I have to get it written down asap to get it out of my system... It's not a continuation of this story, but if you liked it, you will probably like this short one-shot I'm planning to write today, too.
Apr 1, 2021
4/4/21, 8:22 PM
Wow, this was great! Sorry I didn't discover this until now. It's really amazing to have inspired a story like this, to get to reread the original piece I dreamed up as it would be written by a talented author like you. And the additions you made were really hot as well! Consider this my permission to you to write a remake of any of my other stories as well, if you're interested. Hoping to get back into writing too myself, when I can properly carve out the time for it. Congrats again on a job well done!

4/5/21, 2:26 AM
@A Voyeur Fan, I'm really glad you enjoyed the story. Your original was hot as fuck and inspired this variation as I meditated on it while jerking off to it repeatedly. Thanks for the...um...inspiration.
Nutiper
4/4/21, 9:06 PM
> “Yeah? What about my cock?” Tyzon asked with a smug little grin and a slow bounce of the mindfucking organ in question. My eyes bounced along. Are you describing Charley's POV, or just *mine* at this point? Whew... *Phew*, another hot chapter. Loved the erotic way that Tyzon persuaded a mindfucked Charley to flat-out deepthroat his cock. And the way Tyzon came after, and how you detailed the whole process of it (and the *casualness* of a cheerfully cum-splattered Charley paired with a smug self-satisfied Tyzon), was super fun and hot. The blowjob itself felt a bit hasty, but everything before and after was *so* sexy, I can't complain. I also really love how what triggered Charley's orgasm, when giving the blowjob, was a mental image of Tyzon fingering his ass. I love how the story keeps pointing ahead to things coming on the horizon, and I notice the way Charley's ass is coming up more and more — Charley's new body definitely has desires it wants explored (thanks to Tyzon's "influence"), even if Charley himself won't admit it! I'm looking forward to reading every word, ha. I'm excited for the next chapter — as always! Will Charley get different clothes? Will he be joining Tyzon for clean-up? Will he end up exploring his new body alone in a hygiene pod? What new desires or sensations will he encounter...? The suspense! This is such a fun, hot story, and I'm glad you're writing it!

4/5/21, 1:08 AM
@Nutiper That's a fair assessment on the bj part of the scene. It was initially a little longer, but I decided to steal some stuff for future chapters. Maybe I should add those bits back in and force future-me to be creative.

Nutiper
4/5/21, 2:25 AM
@bluesuedewho Haha! That makes sense when you say that, it did seem uncharacteristically abridged. I'd say... go with what makes the process feel best for you, and makes you most satisfied! It's a very hot chapter either way, so it's kind of a win-win situation.