Recent Comments

boi98229
3/21/21, 9:14 PM
The story idea was very original, and the story itself well written. The plot was exciting and the complication between tracking auras and strong sexual arousal was both intriguing and hot. My problem with it has less to do with the story itself than it does with how stressed I have been for some years now about right-wing, strong-arm, immoral, violent, even evil attitudes which have become so prevalent in the world. In spite of the original ideas and the acknowledged fantasy nature of the story, the existence a D Unit was just too closely analogous to the real evil I see in the world to be enjoyable. Given the nature of the competition defined by the requirement of "Fallen Hero", I won't be reading any further chapters of this story. I would apologize for my poor ratings, except i decided i was so biased through no fault of the author that it would be unfair for me to rate the story and adversely affect the author's chance of winning the competition. So i deleted all my ratings.
3/21/21, 9:11 PM
Yes yes yes! All that sexy facial hair! There are some times you refer to "you" instead of to Cameron. Other than that: keep it up, please!
Mar 21, 2021
Anonymous
3/21/21, 9:06 PM
Excellent
Anonymous
3/21/21, 9:01 PM
Well, first the site told me some lines weren't filled despite me having written the resume and other things, so I filled everything and then it accepted to save the story. Not sure what happened. Wasn't even classified as a contender, okay. I don't plan on writing anything this month, so even WHEN/if it became a series, it won't be now. Might as well put it in the context it was supposed to be in, even if who wrote it isn't well secret.
3/21/21, 9:00 PM
I wholeheartedly agree with Wrestlr. A wonderfully written sci fi story. I'd love to read more.
Anonymous
3/21/21, 8:55 PM
I'm looking forward to the dad helping him out
Martin
3/21/21, 8:54 PM
I didn't remove it from the challenge myself. You must have made an error when submitting or editing it, so it wasn't in the challenge. I've added it now to the challenge. Or, if you really want to make a series out of it, I'll remove it again. Your choice.
boi98229
3/21/21, 7:47 PM
Not very original plot, but very well set up and well written. It was still really arousing. I am looking forward to more to see where you take the story now.
Anonymous
3/21/21, 7:37 PM
Oh that makes sense! I myself was actually wondering if Tom would eventually get Ben by dosing the shower water but apparently not 😅
3/21/21, 7:36 PM
I'm loving the story. I can't wait to see where it goes next. I have just an advice for you: proofread the story for mistakes and such. Keep on going man!❤