Recent Comments

3/4/21, 2:35 AM
pog
Anonymous
3/4/21, 1:12 AM
Chiming in to agree that the dialect is (for me) totally unreadable. I wouldn't overthink it, but moving forward you can just say they have an accent and the reader can do the rest.
3/4/21, 1:08 AM
Love this series, can't wait to see where it goes. The fetishes, the compulsions, the mysterious Master -- extremely hot, one of my favorites on here.
3/4/21, 12:40 AM
Such a hot chapter! I'm really enjoying this series.
3/4/21, 12:02 AM
Echoing the above comments - There's a difference between including Scottish slang words and trying to translate an accent. Hell, Scots have a lot of different accents that aren't even understandable to other Scots! Since your first chapter was about baseball players, I assumed your setting is in the US or Canada and either place a cop needs to be able to speak clearly in the dialect of the general population. Frankly, this at best is cringy and at worst borders on "racist" (there isn't a good term for ethnic nationalistic belittlement). I'd enjoy seeing that mirror transform men into furry, bearded guys found in other nationalities - Dominican, Middle Eastern, South Asian, Italian, North African, Slavic - but this kinda has me worried. Lewis is saying stuff that moves the story forward and he's nearly impossible to figure out which pulls me right out of an otherwise provocative, hot read. Good storytelling needs to be understood by the reader unless going you're going for an Anthony Burgess alternative language vibe (ala A Clockwork Orange) which I don't otherwise see in your writing choices. If Riley can understand Lewis, then we need to. If he can't, then we need to know that. And if Riley is growing to understand Lewis better as his transformation moves forward, we need to know that too.
3/3/21, 11:16 PM
Excellent story although a bit difficult to understand some of the Scottish dialogue.
Art
3/3/21, 11:16 PM
Another fantastic chapter! This is definitely one of those stories where I'm happy to see it keep going and will be disappointed when it's finally done!
3/3/21, 8:46 PM
I'm suspecting they will become friends on a supernatural exploration. Can't wait. I like both of them already.
3/3/21, 8:07 PM
Please keep going!! Loving the gentle pace and slow unfolding of the story.