Recent Comments

Oct 16, 2006
Lovedthisstory
2/26/21, 7:38 PM
Any chance, you could write a second part too? I'd love to read a sequel
2/26/21, 6:57 PM
It's an interesting premise. This would work well as an introduction to a larger story. This is very much a world building introduction, and introduces an array of characters and possible plot points to be explored an/or developed in later chapters or continuations within the world setting. I'm very interested to see what comes of this. there's a lot off potential, both as a good story and as a piece for 'stress relief.' It reads almost like a play manuscript, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Whichever way you decide to write, I recommend sticking with it. Consistency is key for clear understanding for the reader. Char1: *does an action* "says some stuff" char2: *reacts* "replies" vs Char1 does the thing, then says "something related". Char2 replies, "something else." Both are reasonable, as long as its consistent throughout.
2/26/21, 6:45 PM
I do like this series, at least in theory. That said, i feel like it is missing some self doubt and internal struggles to make the struggle feel real. If all the main character enjoys doing is getting plowed, him fighting his desires doesnt seem deserved exactly. Other than that, keep up the good work!
white slave
2/26/21, 6:35 PM
Hot! Please Continue!
2/26/21, 5:44 PM
we need a part two!!
2/26/21, 4:05 PM
I f-ing love this. It was written amazingly and I love the idea in general. I am on the edge of my seat for the brothers to come into it
2/26/21, 3:46 PM
I hope to see a sequel soon
Jason
2/26/21, 2:38 PM
An amazing one! Keep on with those.
2/26/21, 2:18 PM
Really nice story! I do wonder how Callum learned about his dark self and what the "other Callum" wants to do now that he is loose. Lots of potential.