Recent Comments

1/7/21, 10:19 AM
I liked that the story featured a pretty unique scenario; there aren't a lot of erotic stories about agricultural workers on here, and I thought it was interesting how they were becoming fused with their uniforms and machines. I'll admit I had to rely pretty heavily on the photos you provided in order to visualize what was going on. I also wish there was a clearer setting from the beginning; for the first half of the story, I thought it was set in the rural US, rather than the Netherlands. Finally, I think that 1st person narration would have worked better than 2nd person narration for this story--and maybe you agree, because you sometimes unintentionally switch from "you" to "I" mid-paragraph.
giveintothemusk
1/7/21, 9:26 AM
Great start!
1/7/21, 8:56 AM
I liked it, despite some grammar problems and some very fast pacing towards the end. If you write another chapter, I'd suggest switching to a different narrator, maybe one of the other soldiers on the base who's seeing his friends transform. Otherwise, it's going to start to seem a little too repetitive.
1/7/21, 8:22 AM
This is SO GREAT! I hope you planned more chapters, with Noah or else :D
Dec 29, 2020
Daniel
1/7/21, 5:30 AM
More struggle during transformation, more details about the two men, more info after they arrived. I.J.S.
Daniel
1/7/21, 5:17 AM
I agree with Hypnothrill. I.J.S.
Jan 6, 2021
Daniel
1/7/21, 4:48 AM
Ok, needed more. I.J.S.
Daniel
1/7/21, 4:39 AM
?? I.J.S.
1/7/21, 4:29 AM
Love the story, when will there be more??