Recent Comments

1/7/21, 2:30 PM
You should include an incubus character as a parody of the Shinigami from Death Note. Also maybe the Dick Note has the power to script behaviors, as the Death Note can compel the people that are about to die to go into all kinds of situations. Then again maybe it just has the ability to perform the described dick transformation.
Richard Redman
1/7/21, 1:43 PM
How may I serve you today, sir?
Richard Redman
1/7/21, 1:34 PM
I want to work for Unity Crop.
1/7/21, 10:19 AM
I liked that the story featured a pretty unique scenario; there aren't a lot of erotic stories about agricultural workers on here, and I thought it was interesting how they were becoming fused with their uniforms and machines. I'll admit I had to rely pretty heavily on the photos you provided in order to visualize what was going on. I also wish there was a clearer setting from the beginning; for the first half of the story, I thought it was set in the rural US, rather than the Netherlands. Finally, I think that 1st person narration would have worked better than 2nd person narration for this story--and maybe you agree, because you sometimes unintentionally switch from "you" to "I" mid-paragraph.
giveintothemusk
1/7/21, 9:26 AM
Great start!
1/7/21, 8:56 AM
I liked it, despite some grammar problems and some very fast pacing towards the end. If you write another chapter, I'd suggest switching to a different narrator, maybe one of the other soldiers on the base who's seeing his friends transform. Otherwise, it's going to start to seem a little too repetitive.
1/7/21, 8:22 AM
This is SO GREAT! I hope you planned more chapters, with Noah or else :D
Dec 29, 2020
Daniel
1/7/21, 5:30 AM
More struggle during transformation, more details about the two men, more info after they arrived. I.J.S.
Daniel
1/7/21, 5:17 AM
I agree with Hypnothrill. I.J.S.